Bitter Longing
by spaceacemeko
Summary: Keith doesn't regret his decision, not really. Except that the heavy weight on his heart won't go away. It wasn't regret, no. But it was… something he couldn't name. Keith sucks in a breath, grinding his teeth and wills himself to breathe normally. It doesn't really help, not when the reality of how he'd successfully extracted himself seamlessly from the team worked.
1. Chapter 1

Keith had always had this inkling like he didn't belong. It wasn't like one of those false senses- where people do try to get along with the person and it's the person who rejects such connections. It was a sense of emotional isolation, possibly in response to childhood trauma and out of self-preservation. Keith never really had anyone like a loving parent or sibling to provide him such comforts.

If Keith was being honest, Shiro, and later and by extension, the team members from Voltron, was the first place he had gotten a niggling of a thought that he could belong there- that he would always have a place. Because, as he was lead to believe, the Lions choose their paladins and for some reason he had thought that… That he's irreplaceable.

In his eyes, his- dare he to call them.. Friends, are irreplaceable. And the more the days dragged on, that's the way it seemed to Keith. They all provide something instrumental to the team to ensure success.

Shiro provides them leadership. He's levelheaded, calm, and seemingly most important of all, older and wiser. He's been through more than they have combined, with his time in Galra captivity. Shiro can think objectively, he can be and is their pillar of support.

Hunk provides mechanical expertise. Keith is sure Coran would have to do all of the ships' and lions' repair all by himself if Hunk wasn't among them. Pidge wasn't the hands-on type. Shiro, while he could help out where he can, is honestly rather… clumsy. Lance will help out here and there, but his short-attention span (that comes out in non-threatening situations) dilutes his efficiency. Coran would never allow Allura do to such work, even though she has helped out where she could sans Coran's knowledge. It was mostly carrying the heavy things (Alteans are _strong_ ). And Keith… Well, let's just say the only thing he's good for would be to pass what you need. And even then, be prepared to get the wrong thing.

Pidge is good with coding and hacking. They wouldn't have gotten as far as they had in their missions if they didn't have anyone on their team who could do that. They wouldn't have been able to help the Olkari if they didn't have her intellect and curiosity. Pidge was so young, in comparison to them, and yet so wise beyond her years with her genius. On top of that, she had that emotional intelligence many girls naturally have. Stubborn and strong willed.

Lance? He provides so much more than comic relief. He provided the metaphorical glue to keep the team together. Keith is positive, that if Lance was not there, no one else but Shiro would even talk to him. Hell, if it wasn't for Lance then Hunk and Pidge wouldn't have been there anyway. Hunk would still be in his room at the Garrison, Pidge would have missed the pivotal point of Shiro crashing because Lance would not have been there to sneak them out.

Even if Lance had reached out to him out of jealousy, even if all he did was taunt, it made Keith feel oddly wanted. Because even if those supposedly negative emotions were aimed toward him, he had a feeling Lance interacting with him made Keith seem more approachable to others.

Lance was the glue. Lance was the moral. He was the team's sharpshooter. God, if Keith could rant to someone about how many amazing plans Lance has thought up on the spot, he'd probably be going for hours (although limited, because they haven't been in space that long, he would probably repeat them more than once). His plans, combined with Shiro's leadership, Pidge's witt, and Hunk's intelligence, provide the team with a rock solid wall of skills.

But Keith?

Keith doesn't have anything, really.

Keith was not a good leader (as he had already known, and as how he'd shown the rest of them when, for the sole purpose to just expose his flaws, Black had chosen him). He's brash and short-tempered, his emotions ate him up.

Keith was not good with mechanics. Flying? Sure, he can fly circles around everyone, Shiro included. But mechanics? At the beginning, when he had tried really, _really_ hard to get things right when Hunk or Coran explained things to him. He did, he really did. But the things they said didn't fit into his mind correctly, it was like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. He would mess up wires, use the wrong tools. Even Red had hissed warningly at him one time. After a particularly bad screw-up, he had been booted from the hangers and asked to help by bringing drinks and snacks (although it was done nicely. Hunk never does anything scathingly unless is was true and he was right after they got into some shit; like that time with Nyma and Rolo).

Keith was not good with computers or coding, like Pidge was. He had neither the mental capacity nor the patience to sift through the numbers and letters. He lacked emotional intelligence, for whatever reason. He can't read clues often and language is hard. Any language.

And Keith was definitely not like Lance. He was not the team's morale or glue. He couldn't come up with plans like Lance could. He had _terrible_ aim.

If all of them were bringing something to the table, it would be this: Shiro brings the table, Lance brings the chairs, Pidge brings the dishes and cutlery, and Hunk brings the food. And Keith just stands there looking awkward and out of place because he'd probably be kicked out of the kitchen for trying to help, or kicked out because he accidentally dropped the glasses.

Regardless, somehow he'd be kicked out until everything is set up and then, probably out of moral obligation, he would be invited to sit.

When they found Shiro Keith thought everything would be back to normal. Shiro would take Black, Keith would get Red back, and Lance would go back to being with Blue. And honestly, Keith didn't think to far ahead about how everything that happened, including finding Shiro, messed with the team's dynamic.

Or maybe, Keith thinks as he sits on the edge of his bed in his Marmora suit, or maybe he was already thinking and readying himself for the inevitable.

It was a surprise that Lance had come to him to advice regarding the matter. Having one paladin too many. _You're right._ Keith's subconscious said as he told Lance "solid math." _We do have one paladin too many._

" _Leave the math to Pidge."_ He said, giving an awkward smile and hoping his body language gave Lance the confidence he needed.

 _The one paladin too many is me._

His mind whispers, the harshness scraping against his mind constantly. Because look, Team Voltron is now perfect.

Allura is amazing with Blue. She's unlocked so many things, she's made miraculous progress, she's the Princess (Queen), and more than likely, Shiro's intended. It was then and there that Keith made up his mind to extract himself.

The next mission Keith volunteers to sit himself out, ready to take this on. He's ready to accept his fate. But then again, why wouldn't he? Everything made perfect sense for him to. Not to mention… Red had called out to Lance when Black chose him. _Called out to him._ Unlike with Keith, when she was temperamental up until Keith was ejected into the vastness of space with no second plan of rescue.

Red might have been unconsciously glued to Keith's soul-or however the lions chose their paladins, but even so, _she called out to Lance._ Idley, Keith thinks, like former paladin like lion. Even then, before even thinking about himself being the odd paladin out, he had decided to step down as a paladin. It wasn't like his crush on Lance was easy to see, after all. And maybe, he thinks with growing pressure behind his eyes, maybe Red chose Lance _because_ Lance somehow knew him better than everyone else. Because she knew Lance would take care of her, and Keith… At least when Keith was still the Black Paladin.

But now Keith has neither the desire nor the want to take Red back, if Lance would lose his place among the team. It hurts in more ways than one, but this is what needed to happen.

Keith doesn't regret his decision, not really.

Except that the heavy weight on his heart won't go away. It wasn't regret, no. But it was… something he couldn't name.

Keith sucks in a breath, grinding his teeth and wills himself to breathe normally. It doesn't really help, not when the reality of how he'd successfully extracted himself _seamlessly_ from the team worked. Tears build up in his eyes and he looks around his barren room, the only thing here his jacket that's hung near the door.

He needed to leave before the others find out he was still skulking around the castle.

Following the appearance of Shiro, Keith had inserted himself into Marmora-run operations and intelligence gathering. He himself started to distance himself from the team. He did more Blade of Marmora missions, missed some critical battles and runs with Voltron, and then, earlier… He'd fucked up big.

Strangely, it was a bittersweet fuck up because, although he missed something very important, he had gotten the desired outcome.

Black's acceptance of Shiro.

But their glare as he came onto the control deck was jarring. Disappointment, resentment, anger.

" _You keep saying you're sorry, but your actions say otherwise." Allura had said, brows furrowed in distress. "Do you realize that your absence put the team in jeopardy?"_

" _And not just the team, the refugees as well." Lance pipes up, finally turning his body fully to face Keith in all his frustrated despondency._

" _Matter of fact, the entire quadrant was in danger." Pidge says, arms crossed. Their tone of voice was ripping into him and he looks away._

" _This is not the way I wanted this to happen.." Keith whispers out, and probably for the first time he thought on his feet. "But, if there's a bright side to any of this, it's that my absence allowed Shiro to reestablish his bond with the Black Lion."_

 _Like how it was and should always be, he thought at that time._

 _Keith sees the miniscule change in their posture: the slackened jaws, relaxed shoulders as they take it in, eyebrows raised as if they hadn't even noticed Shiro had taken his rightful place as pack leader._

" _He can finally be the leader I was unable to be." The one I should have never become. "I'm not meant to pilot the Black Lion." I'm not meant to pilot anything._

" _Is that why you've been pulling away from us?" Their disgruntled expressions drop to one of surprise and concern, shocked at this prospect. They hadn't thought anything of it. They thought it was Keith being Keith, bad leader Keith being bad leader Keith._

" _Yeah." Keith keeps his eyes down to the floor. "I suppose that's part of it." He keeps his emotions in check._

" _Part of it? What's the other part?" Hunk asks._

 _I don't belong here anymore. I never belonged._

 _Keith had half a tick to get his answer on track. "The Blades have been making real headway tracking the source of this new quintessence…" Now it was just regurgitating the information. No emotions involved._

" _It could take weeks, maybe months to pull off, but… If there is a chance… We have.." Keith's eyes widen, his chest constricts at his hiccup._ No. "I _have to take it. I need to be on that mission."_

 _Because he didn't belong, they weren't coming with him. Because he didn't belong, he'd go where he was needed. His voice was urgent. The team might have thought it was because he has a strong sense of duty to do this._

 _But to himself it seems like he was trying to convince himself. It worked, he guesses by their reactions._

" _Shiro, you are the rightful leader of this team." Keith finally looks forward, and he wonders if they can tell he's not really staring at any one of them in the eye. None of them look angry now, he idley thinks. "And you proved it today by reconnecting with the Black Lion. It was always meant to be yours." Keith's voice said with conviction, because he believed it. Every word._

 _Keith had thought, by their stupefied reactions and set worried frowns, that they'd try and at least tell him to stay. To do something other than_ leave.

" _Keith," Shiro clasps his hand on his shoulder, light. The reassuring squeeze does not come. "If this is what you feel is right, then we won't try to stop you." He speaks for the team, because Shiro's word is near law. "But just know that we're here for you whenever you need us."_

 _But I won't be, his mind whispers._

 _Keith relaxes his face, his lips turning into the beginning of a smile, "I know you are." But I won't bother you. "And I can't tell you how much that means to me." His voice was honest. He didn't have to fake that smile, not really. He meant those words._

 _Keith lets himself be hugged, lets himself be embraced, in what could be the last embrace, by his teammates. He almost can't understand why they're crying. Shiro shows no sign of tears. Keith can speculate that, with him gone Shiro didn't have to passively fight for leadership. Keith can live with that._

 _Hunk and Coran might have been pulled into the moment and the emotions, almost comically crying harder than anyone else. Pidge he can kind of understand, as they'd built a fragile comredere, as she proclaims, "we're really gonna miss you."_

 _Keith smiles gently, if he could ever call his smiles gentle as he listens to Lance talk._

" _I know you'll make us proud."_

 _The heat is nice, even through his Marmora suit. But he knows this will end._

 _The hug disburses and Keith walks to the door, sparing one last glance at what he could call his only family._

 _No one tells him to stay._

 _Keith gives them one last smile, drinking in the sight of Hunk clinging to Lance in distress. He paused, smile dropping in a frown as he looks down and away. Keith pivots on his feet and walks off, the doors sliding closed behind him._

 _Keith doesn't stop until he's reached the end of the hallway. He pauses and looks back at the doorway, and waits a tick before grinding his teeth and stalks towards his room._

 _See how everything worked itself out?_

Keith's quiet sobs echoed in the otherwise silent room, and he let it. Let it out, he said to himself, quickly.

 _The math problem is solved, Lance._ He thought sardonically, earning himself a chuckle from himself. Keith sucks in a breath, and wipes off his face.

He was fine. The team was fine. Keith turns on his mask and grabs his coat on the way out.

 _They'll forget me soon, anyway._

 _They always do._

* * *

 _A/N:I'm having a lot of feelings. Why did I decide to rewatch Voltron and get attacked with these feelings? I don't know... but. Please, suffer with me. ;-;_


	2. Chapter 2

It was funny. Just a bit.

" _The Blade of Marmora can go on without you, Keith. They have for thousands of years."_

Allura told him that right after he lost Regris on a mission.

" _The team cannot."_

That's what she said. And Keith wonders how much of that he believed. And how much the team believed that.

If they even believed that.

Keith had already come to terms with how seamlessly he extracted himself from the team, even if it was by accidental circumstances.

The work the Blade had him do put his mind on the backburner. It put his fear at being unneeded and unwanted far from his mind. It stalled his need for acceptance and love. It lessened the yearning to go back to a time from before Shiro disappeared. He wouldn't mind being Galra if it was during that time.

Keith thinks, rather late one night when sleep eluded him, that the reason he chose to go with the Blade was to get away from the possibility of taking Shiro's place. Especially when Shiro showed up again. Black was his, she always was. Keith didn't know what Black saw in him, except that he had wanted her help to protect Shiro on that god-forsaken planet.

The only thing Keith was good at was being a good soldier. Being someone's right hand. He's good at taking orders, of following through on that order. Keith is good at backup. He's good being by himself, he's good at covering up the many more faults people don't see. And it seems, the thing that Keith is _most_ good at, is criticising himself.

And Keith thinks, that maybe he's been with the Blades for a bit too long. Maybe he's let all this Galra nonsense get to his head. Maybe Keith was just a lot more susceptible to the influence of his peers and heritage than he had ever thought.

"Maybe not with our weapons…"

Keith grips tightly to the handles of the Galra fighter drone, the reality of his mission crushing his chest.

" _Wait! Keith, what are you doing?!"_ Matt's voice was rather jarring to his ears. And for some reason, Matt's frantic calling of his name squeezed at his heart more. " _Keith, no!"_

Keith sucks in a soft breath, gritting his teeth.

 _Victory or death._

 _Knowledge or death._

That is the Galra way, isn't it? One or the other. Two extremes, two halves, of the same coin. It's throwing yourself all the way in and not giving yourself an out. Boxing yourself into a corner of follow-through for the sake of the mission.

Keith shifts the gears forward without a second's thought. He stares the particle barrier in the face, flashes of his team come to mind and he finally closes his eyes.

 _Victory or death._

 _I love you guys._

Keith shuts his eyes a little tighter, hearing Matt's echo of his name. That was when he heard it— the breaking of a sound barrier through the vacuum of space and Keith's eyes fly open, barely able to pull his space pod from the incoming explosion. His heart hammered in his chest.

" _Good job, Keith."_

Keith furrows his brow, steadying his shaking hands. Briefly he wonders if Shiro would say that had he gone through with it.

"It wasn't me."

" _Huh?"_

Keith looks up to the broken ship.

"It was Lotor. The cannon on his ship was the only thing powerful enough to take down that shield."

Keith takes another breath, squeezing the handles of the ship to stop the shaking he felt.

 _One more second and he would have killed himself for nothing._

Lotor's next words were a blur, but he was sure he wouldn't have liked it.

" _Keith? Helllooooo? You hearing me okay, Mullet?"_

Keith blinks back into existence, slowly letting go of the controls.

" _Keith?"_

Red fills his vision, her hulking form hovering by him.

"Yeah," Keith responds, throat dry.

" _You okay?"_ Lance asks, sounding oddly… concerned. And if Keith wasn't on the verge of a meltdown he would have gotten butterflies in his stomach at the prospect of Lance actually worrying for him. " _Shiro said to come back to the castle."_

Keith looks out the window, seeing Red hovering by and he squeezes the remnants of the trembles from his hands.

"Yeah.. I'm coming." Keith swallows, hoping his voice isn't as hoarse as it sounds to his own voice. Lance stays quiet for a moment, as if he was studying Keith like he could see him.

" _Okay, well, getta move on already."_ He says and then, finally, Red turns and flies toward the castle.

That hurt a little, too, for whatever reason.

Keith wonders if Red would miss him if he died. Glancing around the area, all he could see is debris from the wreckage, and all he could think of is how close he had gotten to joining the trash that littered the space around him… if there was anything of him to survive in that explosion.

No one was around and for that he was grateful.

The first wave of emotion hit him like a tsunami. It slammed into him, his heart giving a painful squeeze as he sucks in air like there wasn't enough in the fighter jet. His hands flew to his hair, grabbing fistfuls like that could somehow, someway, help him get control over the feelings coming over him. He brought his legs up, crushing himself into a little ball, making himself as small as possible in the confined space.

 _I'm alive._

Tears welled and overflowed in his eyes and he kept his knees pressed to his eyes like that would prevent someone from knowing what he was going through. So he let himself cry, and cry loudly. He nearly yelled out, slamming his head back on the headrest. _Get a grip on yourself._

 _I'm alive._

 _Victory or death._

 _I'm alive._

Keith didn't know how long he stayed there, nails haven gone lax along his scalp. His tears ran out after a few minutes. After a good meltdown he would say he was good for another month or so, stuffing his feelings back inside where they belonged.

His eyes felt puffy and raw from rubbing them and his face felt dry and cracky, no doubt from the dried tears. Keith takes a shaky breath, steadying himself before uncurling himself from the fetal position he forced himself into. His body felt oddly sore, like he'd been there for _hours,_ but he knows that's not true. Meltdowns typically made him feel lethargic and catatonic. Body aches were just an added side effect of them.

Keith wiped as much dried tears from his face as he could before grabbing the controls and cruise-controlled his way back to the castle. Luckily the castle didn't fire upon his approach and he sighs as he lands the fighter in the hanger. He rubs roughly at his face, trying to get rid of any possible traces of evidence of his meltdown before he gets out.

The reflection of his face on the metal made his eyes look better than they were against his pale skin. Red eyes, the corners of the skin irritated and he clenches his teeth for a moment before taking a breath and activating his face mask, slowly making his way to the bridge of the castle. There, just around the corner of the open doors, stood his team, and Lotor, and Kolivan, and some of the Blades, and some of the rebel leaders. It took a moment for him to realize why the door was open, his brain haven stalled on that. It only opens when one person is near.

Keith turned his head, seeing Matt lean against the wall of the open door, arms crossed. When he noticed Keith, he raised his gaze from the floor and locked them on Keith and Keith couldn't suppress the shiver at the intention and emotions swirling in his eyes. It was so intense Keith pivoted on his foot and left without anybody else noticing his arrival and premature departure. He could hear footsteps follow his briskly, the swooshing of the door closing.

"Keith!" Matt's voice rang out in the otherwise empty hallway. Keith flinches, but continued on his way even as Matt gained on him. He didn't want to run away and make it obvious. He had thought he could have made it just slightly natural… "Keith! Man, what the hell was that?" He asks, grabbing Keith by the arm and jarring him to stillness. Keith didn't feel strong enough to rip away from his grip. Matt's hand went around his upper arm, a vice grip as if Keith would even be strong enough, in the moment, to brush it away.

Keith didn't say anything, staring at the floor somewhere away from Matt, gritting his teeth and hoping this will end soon. The feeling was too raw, too touchable, too fresh. If he opened his mouth, talked it out, he wouldn't be able to get a word out before his throat clogged with panic and his already sore eyes drowned in tears.

"Say something!"

Keith flinched, shoulders dropping, enough for Matt to notice. Matt was angry, of fucking course he was. _Who the hell_ did Keith think he was, so carelessly about to give his life? It wasn't just that that upset Matt. Matt understood martyrdom, he understood sacrifice. But he only understood it in terms of absolutes. One doesn't sacrifice himself unless, one hundred percent, the victory would come from that sacrifice. He's just so _upset_ that Keith would even think that crashing into the barrier would _ever_ break it, when their weapons wouldn't.

It was just— _frustrating._

Matt didn't know a lot about Keith. But he knew of him, and he knew what he meant to the team from the time he'd spend with Pidge. He knew Keith was a major player in the team's dynamic. Pidge had voiced her concern and previous frustration when Keith deliberately withdrew from the team. How he'd taken on more Marmora missions until the final time he went on a mission, it nearly jeopardize the galaxy they protected, and because of that, Shiro was able to reclaim Black.

And then he left.

Pidge told him that the team wasn't the same without Keith's explosive personality, with the brash and rather absurd gameplans. It was a lot more mellow, with Lance's attention no longer on getting under Keith's skin.

Matt grit his teeth, glaring at the boy that stayed as silent as the grave.

"Fine." He grit out. "I'm telling them." Matt says, because they _deserved_ to know what Keith was willing to sacrifice for them. Deserved to know he was a tick away from fulfilling it. Matt lets go of his arm and turns, ready to stomp back onto the bridge to let everyone know.

"Don't!" Keith calls out, this time the one grabbing Matt's elbow before he took another step back to the bridge. His mask fell and Matt's eyes widen, surprised at the emotions he sees on Keith's face. "Don't tell them…" Keith's eyes drop down, but Matt could hear the desperation in his tone. The pleading. The parlour of his skin looked ghostly, the whites of his eyes red, the corners irritated with dry skin and rubbing. "Please don't tell them.."

Matt's eyes widen. He'd never heard Keith beg, let alone ask please of anything. Matt grit his teeth, taking a steadying breath. He had thought that Keith didn't care about his near sacrifice. That he wouldn't have feelings of regret now that he'd lived to see another day. Keith's grip on his arm tightened near to hurting, although that was more out of desperation. He knew Keith's grip would crush his bones if Keith was actually in tip-top shape. Matt lets out a breath, shaking his head of such thoughts. Of Keith and his sacrifice, of telling the team.

"Keith…"

Keith's shoulders fell, making him seem smaller than he already was— already looked. Matt wondered how low someone had to fall to feel like no one would care about their death. Matt shakes off Keith's hand and he sees Keith make himself minisculely smaller. How his jaw clenches, eyes narrowing and glossing over. Matt sighs again, putting a hand on Keith's shoulder.

Keith jumps under his grasp, eyes jumping up to meet Matt's, confused. Matt squeezed his shoulder.

"Don't do that again." He nearly whispers, pulling him in for a one-armed hug. He feels more than hears Keith gasp, face at his shoulder. Matt hugs him tighter and he felt the first hiccup. Keith's body jerking lightly in his hold. Keith's hands raise to grip at Matt's clothes and he hugs just a bit tighter in support. "Don't do that again." he repeats and Keith's head drops to his shoulder, shaking with the quiet sobs. "You have people who love you, who care about you. People who will miss you." He continues, because it seemed like that was something Keith needed to hear.

"Don't _ever_ think your life means less than the mission."

They stay like that for some time and Matt was glad they were in a rather secluded and out-of-the-way part of the castle. He'd doubt Keith would be comfortable with just anybody walking in on them, or him, during such a charged moment.

Eventually Keith calmed down. He extracted himself from Matt, rubbing at his eyes roughly. He looked worse than when Matt found him, but at least he didn't look like existence was crushing him. Matt let his hand slip back to his shoulder and squeezed it.

"I'm serious, now. Don't do it again."

Keith glances up at him and smiles, just barely. He takes a breath, shoulders dropping with the exhale.

"Yeah…" He mumbles, and after scrutinizing Keith's face Matt lets his hand drop before turning to walk back to the bridge, idly wondering if the meeting was done.

"Matt," Keith calls and Matt pauses his walk to look back over his shoulder. Keith gives another smile— still barely there, but it was something. "Thanks.."

Matt smiles back, giving a nod with the understanding that Keith knows he won't tell the team— so far as Keith understands never to pull a stunt like that again. Matt turns back, not needing to see anything more than that as he walks back to the team.

* * *

 _A/N: The only truly unforgivable thing in all of Voltron that was done, was brushing over Keith's near-martyrdom._


	3. Yearning

_To be alive is to be broken; to be broken is to stand in need of grace._

* * *

It was a little silly, to think that was how the relationship started. At first, Keith didn't think he would like another person, and then he somehow fell for Lance. And of course, Lance doesn't reciprocate.

 _The time of unrequited love is the happiest._

Who on earth said this sentence?

Falling for Lance was one of the dumbest things he's ever done in his life. Funny how that was his first love, too. Then again, they have also said that first loves never work out. It always hurts a little more to be made fun of by someone you love, even if it was done with "love" and Keith was never one who could take teasing like it was meant to be taken.

It just… He just didn't like being made fun of. It reminded him too much of his young life. Of his childhood, of all the days following his father's death. Of being branded _orphan_ and _unwanted_ and _unloved._

And then he slipped from the team like it was something. Like it was just growing pains for them, him pulling away, letting them down and leaving Shiro back in his rightful place: at the head of Voltron.

It hurt more to realize how much it worked.

And then everything else happened follow that… And then there was _Matt._

Matt and his prodding; Matt and his _caring_ about his life.

It was from then, that Keith felt.. different. Not that his decision to sacrifice himself weighed any less in the aftermath, but just.. yeah, a little lighter. A little more pep in his step. More energy when he wakes up. Maybe that was all he needed, to be told that he was needed and wanted and loved. For it to alleviate some ache he felt at not being asked to stay when he told them he needed to be on that mission to follow the strange supply chain.

Sometimes, what people want and what people need are two different things.

What Keith _wanted_ was to escape the responsibility of being the Black Paladin. He _wanted_ to stay the Red Paladin, _wanted_ to go back to a time when everything was a lot more simpler.

What he _needed_ was to be asked to stay. What he _needed_ was to be told he was loved and needed, and that he would be missed dearly. Yeah, they said they would miss him… But being told you would be missed is not nearly the same as _actually_ _being_ missed. To miss is to yearn; to yearn is to seek that which calls your soul.

It was a little weird, then, that that was what he felt from Matt.

Not that Matt gave off any feeling that he would feel anything romantic toward him. They did only _know_ _of_ each other, after all. And maybe Keith was just digging a deeper hole for himself than when he had fallen for Lance, but it wasn't like one could control the feelings one gets.

Anyway, even without the intention of doing it, Matt gave him exactly what he needed, what had been missing in his soul.

The next time their paths crossed was a few days later.

Keith was surprised at it, actually. Because it seemed as if after Matt's confrontation, that their paths cross a lot more than just speaking on webcam about the next mission.

Then again, Keith could just be exaggerating, thinking up things that weren't making sense. Because of a lack thereof of upset team members, he knew Matt kept his promise and hasn't told the others about Keith's near-martyrdom. And for some reason, that solidified Keith's trust in him. And maybe one of the biggest reasons he admired Matt, or started to, is because of the way he reminded him of Shiro… Well, the old Shiro. The one that encouraged him to lead the team, the one who never gave up on him. He still believes in Shiro, but something is… off about the Shiro they got back.

Anyway.

Matt grins at him as he raises his eyes from the holopad he was reading.

"Hey. Looking better."

It was so… _inconsequential,_ the way he greeted him. Small, _simple,_ and for some reason Keith's heart soared. He grinned back, a little unsurely.

"Yeah, thanks.." He trails off as they come to a stop a foot or so away from each other and Keith had the distinct feeling to keep this conversation going, like there was something there to _keep_ it going but Keith just couldn't put it into words.

"Did you read up on the new missions?" Matt asks instead. Keith shakes his head. "Cool, wanna go grab a drink and look it over together?"

God, he asked it so _casually._ It nearly left no room for Keith to decline. Of course, it wasn't overbearing and there was an out if Keith _didn't_ want to do it, but…

"Sure." Keith replies, smile a bit more genuine as he pulls down the hood on his suit.

* * *

Matt slouches back against the couch in the common room, leg folded up on the edge of the couch as the holopad rests against his thigh. Keith sat next to him, near close enough to touch, looking over the holopad Matt has in front of them. Drink pouches in hand, Keith scrolls down when he needed to, Matt allowing him to scroll at his pace.

It was… nice.

Easy. Matt didn't have any kind of expectation of him. Or at least, it didn't seem like he did. To be accepted without exceptions was like a breath of fresh air.

"Cool, huh?" Matt grins, glancing to Keith as he reached the bottom of the report. "With Zarkon out of the way, insider information, and the rebel alliance growing, it seems like we'll finally be able to win this thing once and for all." Matt looks back to the holopad, scrolling through the information once again.

Of course, it only had information and missions the rebels would be on, not the Blades, and Keith wonders if he might be looking too much into it… Because why would Matt invite him to look over missions about _his_ organization, which, more or less, have no overlapping missions with the Blades', other than to spend time with Keith? It was a dangerous thought. It gave him hope where there could be none. Matt could be just being nice, giving Keith a helping hand and support when it didn't seem like he had any of the support he _needed_ at the Blade of Marmora. Sure, yeah, they support him… In that they have enough belief in him that he'd get the mission done. But, Keith thinks, and it could be his human side talking, but he needed _more._ He needed the support of someone who understands his struggle, who would place importance on life instead of mission.

Someone, it seems, who isn't Galra.

"Yeah.. And then you'll finally able to go home." Keith says lightly. And he wonders why he said _you_ like he also wasn't able to go home. But.. He guesses, there was nothing waiting for him back on earth. His father is dead, his team is in space, and his mom is some Galra out in the universe doing god knows what. Matt raised a brow, glancing at him.

"You will, too." He says, simply, like it made all the sense in the universe. Keith smiles, feeling a tad bit warm in his heart.

"Yeah.."

* * *

The second time he ran into Matt after what he has been dubbing The Incident™ was a couple weeks later, after they had run some missions with Lotor's information. It had been relatively easy and painless. Voltron had been coming in hot and wrecking everything they needed to wreck to stall the empire's crumbling expanse.

Keith had been walking the halls of the castle, haven gotten in late that night to regroup and have a physical meeting with the team for later that morning. He didn't expect to come across Matt glaring a hole in the tiles of the hallway, completely in his own world.

"Matt, hey," Keith blinks as he passes, grabbing his elbow out of reflex before he passed too far. Matt jerked- not away, but out of surprise. Keith can't tell you why he felt compelled to reach out to him. Matt blinks, seeming to come to himself as he stares at Keith.

"Oh. Keith, hey." He smiles, but it's strained. "Sorry, didn't see you there. What's up?"

And Keith was never one for skirting around topics.

"Is something wrong?" Keith asks and Matt's eyes go wide with surprise for a moment before it falls into something easy.

"You could say that." Matt sighs. Keith turns to face him more fully, about to ask. "Lotor has information on my father... " He says, leaning back against the wall and folding his arms, glaring at the floor once again. "For whatever reason, Zarkon got ahold of that information and took him from the lab he was forced to work at…" Matt trails off. Keith stepped closer, lips pursed. ".. He wants to make a trade. My dad for Lotor."

 _Ah._ There it was. The dilemma.

If they turn Lotor over, they would lose their leverage, not to mention the death of Lotor would dampen their plans for universal peace with Lotor as emperor. But then again, if they _don't_ trade him, their father would stay at the mercy of the Galra. They might not kill him; a scientist is very valuable to the empire, after all, but he would no doubt be miserable. Keith leans on the wall next to Matt, half a foot away, shoulder pressed to the cold material.

"What are you gonna do?"

Matt sighs, losing his serious demeanor. He looked a lot younger when he does that, Keith notes. The fine lines at his eyes and the dark circles under his eyes seem just.. a little less. He was Shiro's age, Keith thinks. Maybe a few years younger.

"Pidge doesn't even wanna think about going for other plans. I mean, I get it. I want Dad back ASAP, too." Matt hums, raising his head to rest back against the wall instead of hang, staring at the tall ceilings. Keith's gaze follows his, wondering if he sees anything, before dropping to Matt's profile. "But Shiro has always had a weakness for unruly children." He says and Keith could hear the teasing in his voice. It was… Not as bad as he thought it would be. Though, he wonders if Matt was talking about Pidge, or himself, or if he even _knew_ who Keith was before all this, if Shiro ever spoke about him to his peers and friends and colleagues. Matt chuckles, breaking Keith's thoughts, as Matt finally drops his gaze from the ceiling to Keith. "So, there like a 110% chance of us trading Lotor for Dad."

Keith smiles, giving a nod. "I'm glad you're getting your father back." Matt grins, turning to that he was also facing Keith, leaning his shoulder on the wall.

"Thanks. Me too. Although there's like a gajillion percent chance of being double-crossed. Cuz, ya know, it's Zarkon and whatever." Matt slouches, expressive in his posture. "Will you be there?" He asks, straightening up a bit in a normal stance, but still leaning against the wall. Keith paused, surprised.

"Uhh— me?" He blinks, completely floored. Why would Keith be there? "I— well, no…" He says unsurely. Matt smiled kindly, though, and it puts his anxiety somewhat at ease.

"Yeah, figured. Lots of Marmorite things to do, huh?"

"Marmorite..?" Keith furrows his brow, now getting confused by the second. Matt chuckles and nods.

"Yeah. That's what Lance calls you guys. It's kinda catchy, isn't it?"

Keith didn't know how to respond— or if he should or even _could._ Is having a crush supposed to be like this? Constantly feeling like your brain doesn't work? Briefly he wonders if it's not working because it's Matt, or because Lance was mentioned and he was still (kinda) getting over his crush? Maybe it was both.

Both sounded just about right.

"I— y-yeah. It kinda does." He finally settles on after a semi-long awkward period of silence for which Matt seemed completely immune to. Matt chuckles, letting his head rest against the wall and made his hair fluff up in the most ridiculous of manners that had Keith pursing his lips to keep from laughing.

"Haha, yeah." Matt sighs again, sounding a lot lighter than he previously was. "Too bad you can't come, though. We would've made a great team."

Keith swears, he stopped _breathing._

His mouth drops just a tad, his brain stalled.

 _We make a great team._

Keith feels his face heat up, trying to stammer out a response that's semicoherant as his heart tries to find its way out of his chest.

" _Keith!"_ Keith jumps, hearing the voice at the speaker of his suit. " _Convene on the bridge."_

"U-understood." He replies, glancing from Matt to the floor as if to not confuse him as to who he was talking to. When his eyes went back up to Matt, he was still casually leaning against the wall, a lazy smile on his lips and Keith's brain stutters to a halt once more. "Uh— sorry, I-I have to go.." Matt shrugs a shoulder, as if letting him know he understands and Keith's heart skips another beat before he pivots on his heel, closing his mask as he practically runs away.

What Keith see, though, was how Matt brought a hand up to cover his mouth in light amusement, eyes light.

"Adorable."


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: Oh dear. I had almost forgotten I promised some Katt._

* * *

Matt can't explain the pull.

In a way, it was that same urge as when you see a cat nearby and think, _time to go bug that animal._

Because yeah, it might look grumpy and fussy. Yeah, it's probably annoyed. Yeah, whatever. But it's like, even if you got scratched, you never had any regrets about it, ya know? Especially when that cat rolls onto its back and urges you for tummy scratches and then sinks its claws and teeth into your hands but you never regret doing it, even when the cat starts kicking the hand it keeps holding and it scratches you more. _(Matt had never regretted it. But then again, he might've been the outlier in that respect.)_

That was kind of how it was with Keith.

Keith was a grumpus. He was a loner and short-tempered.

Keith was like a cat.

It made sense to him, really. Most Galra he's ever seen had fluffy ears (ya know, minus Zarkon and his turtle-face looking genetics). Matt even had an ongoing theory that he never had time to test that if he grabs a laser pointer, he'd sufficiently distract the generals and their Galra soldiers with the chase for the inevitable and he'd be able to overthrow the emperor.

 _Anyway,_ what he was saying is—

 _And there he is. Time to go bug that animal._

"Hey Keith!"

Said animal, who was stalking around the castle, paused, and then looked around. Matt could see the furrow in his brow as no one entered his vision and Matt covers his mouth in amusement, watching Keith struggle for a few more moments before he was about to give up and stalk away.

"Up here!"

Keith paused, turning back around and then looking up—

"What are you _doing_ up there?"

Matt gives a little _hmm_ and looks around his little alcove. It was rather high, but out of the way and the _perfect_ hiding spot from his responsibilities.

"Why not?" He asked, shrugging his shoulders, leaning forward. Keith tilts his head _(awwhh he looks so cute when he does that)._

"Makes.. sense."

Matt could tell Keith was struggling with what comes next. It was kind of easy to tell Keith didn't know what to do with interactions with people. In general. Matt was good that way; able to pick out what people feel and need. Contrary to popular belief, Matt's EQ skills were pretty high. He even wonders if he was actually a high-functioning sociopath and the Garrison just missed it on his psychiatric evaluations because he could have just as easily faked what he needed to.

"Totally. Come up here." Matt said without preamble. Keith paused, watching Matt pat the spot next to him in invitation. He seemed to think, before he started stepping backwards.

Matt watched as Keith's body leaned forward before he lurched forward, getting a running head start. Keith gets pretty close to the wall before his foot stepped up the wall— one, twice, _thrice,_ before Keith grabbed hold of the edge of the alcove and pulled himself up; body slinking up like a cat's. The Marmorite suit was pretty skin-tight, though he was sure it was in the comfortable way and not in the skin-tight leather way. Like a comfy pair of leggings.

But not the prisoner ones, okay? Screw those.

As Keith pulled himself up, his shoulder blades stuck out, causing a dip along his back that was purely… Matt can't say sensual, but it was. He just has a thing for nicely shaped backs and shoulders. Just nicely shaped figures are nice to watch. Anatomy was really interesting.

Keith hauled himself up over the edge, turning to sit like one would climbing out of a pool. He made the whole thing look _so easy_ and Matt wonders how much of his ability and agility is in part due to his Galra heritage. They've already found that many Galra are blessed with speed and flexibility. Keith scoots further back onto the ledge, sitting cross legged and looking out and around the alcove.

"Nice, right?" Matt grins, leaning back against the pillar. There are so many of these around the caste that one has to wonder whether they were an accident from bad architectural engineering or if they were put here for the exact purpose of escaping responsibilities.

Picture that: the mighty King Alfor, hiding in nooks and crannies of the castle to get away from dignitary missions.

Keith hums and gives a light smile. "It is."

"Perfect for avoiding responsibilities." Matt says with a happy sigh, slouching further, debating whether or not he should put his legs over Keith's lap. "Where were you going, anyway?"

"Oh. Uhm, I was heading down to the training room.. I haven't been there for a while and there's some downtime before the next mission." Keith fiddles with the vamp of his shoes. "What do you do up here?" He asks, looking back to Matt. Matt hums, stretching it out because why not.

"Avoid my responsibilities."

This made Keith laugh, short and amused.

"But what do you _do?"_

"Exactly that." Matt grins. "That can include a multitude of things. Napping, playing a one-sided game of hide-and-go-seek," he names off pulling out his holophone. "Trolling the galactic internet." Keith's looking at him like, _wow, this dork,_ but he has such a cute expression on his face Matt can't find it in himself to be offended. In fact, he's the least offendable person he thinks he knows. He takes approximately zero offense to what anybody tells him. Matt knows he's a nerd and proud of it.

"There's a galactic internet?" Keith asks, dubious.

"Psh. Oh yeah. I mean, it's hard to find earth stuff since we're out there in the middle of flippen' nowhere, but we have a pretty expansive network across this side of the galaxy." Which was half-true anyway. Not sure if the communication network can constitute the human _internet_ like they have at home, but eh, whatever.

"Cool." Matt hums, giving into temptation and casually moving his legs so they fall across Keith's lap. Keith doesn't so much as startle as leans back in surprise, briefly hesitating before letting his hands settle on Matt's ankles.

"And to think, I wanted aliens to kidnap me back then." Matt sighed heavily, shaking his head. Keith chuckles, fingers idly tracing the pattern on his boots. "Man, was I naive." A pause. "What do you train with?"

"My blade." Keith responds after a moment's silence. It felt weighted to him, for some reason and Matt thinks back. Keith had been the red paladin, which means he had a bayard, and it probably took the form of a sword.

"Is it hard?" A light shrug, it was pretty obvious Keith didn't like attention all that much, but Matt was gonna make him get used to it whether he wanted to or not.

"I guess? I've been handling knives since I was a kid, so.."

"How does that—" Matt starts, getting cut off by the sound of his holophone going off. He briefly looks at it and sighs, Keith tilting his head in that cute way he does (just like a cat. Further proof Galra are cats). "There's a meeting scheduled soon. Guess I have to go prepare." Matt sighs loudly, putting on the theatrics and he slouched further, until his chin was uncomfortably folded into his chest and his legs stretched further across Keith's lap.

"No rest for the weary, huh?" Keith chuckles lightly, patting his legs in consolation.

"Stop it with those old-age idioms." Matt grumbled before he gets up, an idea forming in his head. "Gimme your communicator." Matt says, hand out in expectation. Keith looks at him oddly, tilting his head.

"Communicator?"

"Phone, cell, holothingiemabober. Whatever they call it out here." He says, pulling out his own. The orange glass with the two opposite corners in metallic covering.

"Oh. I don't.. have one of those."

Matt paused for a long while, mind going nearly blank.

"You don't… have a communicator?" He asks, completely flabbergasted, but keeps most of the astonished emotion from his voice. Who _doesn't_ have a holophone these days? Especially on the Voltron team? Pidge sends him hilarious pictures _all_ the time. He even has the rest of the team's numbers downloaded on there _just in case_ he needs them. Even _Shiro_ has one and that's saying something. Shiro might be a great pilot, but engineer, ehhh.. Not that great with technology. "How do people keep in touch with you then?"

Keith looks away, giving a little shrug of his shoulders. He looks smaller, suddenly, and not just because black makes him look slimmer. It was that same smallness Matt noticed after he tried to sacrifice himself.

"Through the main video feed when we need to exchange information."

Matt's mouth dropped. He stopped himself from voicing, _what?,_ knowing it could be taken wrong and most likely would be. Had he completely miscalculated how the team valued Keith, or how Keith valued himself? Whatever it is.

"Well, _that's_ got to change." Matt says instead, grinning. "I'm sure Allura's got a few laying around." Matt pulls his legs from Keith's lap, swinging them over the edge of the alcove, knocking his shoulder with Keith's. "C'mon," he says before pushing himself off the ledge with an enthusiastic _hup!_ , landing on his feet. Matt looks up just in time to see Keith slip off the edge, landing ridiculously softly on his feet (like a cat. Matt's never gonna let go of that hypothesis. He'll take it to his grave. Watch him, on his tombstone it'll read: Here lies a man who held onto his belief that Galra are actually a species of cat).

Matt grins widely, taking hold of Keith's hand and practically dragging him down the hallway at a quick pace. Allura was only ever in three places on the castleship: control room, training room, or her room. Since she _was_ the leader of Voltron and the coalition, practically, she spent most of her time on the bridge. He doesn't take pause to see Keith's reaction to his liberty-taking. Physical touch is Matt's primary love language, so Keith would need to get used to it eventually.

Well, if Keith _really_ didn't like it, he would stop. Matt wasn't that big an asshole as to push it on people. Pidge was a pretty touch-averse kind of gal, and he had to learn that just cuz she didn't like cuddling and hugs and touch all that much, didn't mean she loved him any less. But he has this feeling Keith was just fine with touch, if not a little bit foreign to it.

"Allura! Allura!" A-lu-ra or A-lo-ra? Like _allure?_ He guesses Allura _was_ pretty alluring, she is a princess, after all. Allura looks up from the holographic plans she had out, Lotor looking up rather… _curious_ at their interruption, face carefully blank. It looked like they were making plans to get his father back, preliminary plans, that is. Allura looked rather startled at his sudden call, looking to him with urgency.

"What is it, Matt?" Oh boy, he was gonna burst her bubble about this urgency business. Matt holds up his holophone, straight forward like she'd miss seeing it would he hold it normally.

"Do you have any more of these?" He asks, all smiles completely normal, even as Allura looked at the holophone held out practically to her face, then a quick glance to Keith, and then an even briefer glance to Lotor. "Keith needs one." Matt tacks on as if that wasn't obvious considering who he's holding hostage.

"Oh, ah, right." Allura nods and Matt finally drops his hand. "They'll be in the electronics room, in Green's wing."

"Gotcha. Thanks, Princess!" And without preamble, he pivots on his heel and struts them out back into the hall, barely catching the tail end of Lotor's question about what in the world that was. Green was Pidge's domain, so it would make sense that they would be somewhere in that vicinity.

"Now if I were a holophone, where would I be?" Matt asks himself once he comes to hallway belonging to the green lion.

"You have no idea where we're going, do you?"

"Not in the slightest." Matt grins widely, looking back at him. Keith sighs like it's a hassle but Matt sees the twitch of he corner of his lip twitch in amusement. "Hey, it's an adventure, alright?"

"If you say so." Keith shrugs, but he obviously wasn't against it. He stood pretty close, and he still hasn't torn his hand away, even has it loosely gripping Matt's.

"Indeed I do say." Matt looks back around, spotting Hunk coming around the corner. "Big guy! Hunk! My man!" He calls, waving his free hand frantically in hello. It was hard to miss them in general, the hallways were spacious but it was like, _one way,_ so missing them was an impossibility.

"Matt! Keith! Hey, what's up?" He smiles, all friendly like he always is, even though he does give a curious glance down to their held hands, at which point Matt tightens the bare amount on his hold.

"We're looking for the electronics room. I need another holophone. Know where that is?" Matt takes out his holophone to give Hunk a place to look instead of scrutinize their hand holding. If asked, he knew Pidge would probably say something along the lines of _he holds hands with pretty much everyone, given the chance._ And though it's with select people, that doesn't make it any less true.

"Yeah, just around the corner on the left."

"Thanks dude, predicate you." Matt smiles, patting his shoulder as Matt pulls them past and to the direction of the room. Within a few short moments they were at the door and the door was opening and Matt regretfully let go of Keith's hands to start rummaging through the drawers. Sure, he could've looked through one-handed, but that would've been more awkward. Like, hello, earth-to-Matt, you're letting your idiocy show. And maybe that would've been too forward.

"Ah-hah!" Matt grins, finding a whole _drawer_ full of the buggers. Matt grabs one and turns it on. Keith hovers at his left, watching what he does. Matt makes it obvious for Keith to see the button on the side of the holophone's metal plate to press to turn it on. Once it chimes that it's on, it was pretty much go time.

Matt grinned from ear to ear, holding Keith's new holophone in his hand and syncing his code number with his own. Keith stood next to him, looking adorably confused as they wait for it to synchronize up. Once it was done, Matt hands his holophone back. Keith stares at it, brows slightly furrowed.

"How do I use it…?"

This boy can fly the Red Lion but he doesn't know how to function a phone?

 _Adorable._

"Here! I'll show you." Matt says enthusiastically pocketing his own phone and crowding up around Keith probably a little too close (not that Keith seemed to notice, his attention rapt with the functions Matt was shown him). "All you really need to know is like, this one," Matt taps the icon at the top. "Opens the messages, and it works like your regular phone." He shows him some more functions; _this takes a photo, this sends a photo, this video calls._ Use simple stuff. "Send me something."

Keith blinks, looking up from the phone to Matt.

"Like what?"

"Like, a message."

Keith purses his lips, looking down at the phone in concentration. He taps a few buttons, slowly, carefully, before Matt hears the sound of droplets. He grins, pulling out his phone again to read the message,

 _Hi._

How has no one messaged Keith before? He seems like that type of friend that's tech-slow but it's cute to watch the progression of their learning.

And Matt gets to bear witness to it _all._

 _Hey yourself. d(,,_ _･_ _ε´-,,)⌒_

Matt looks up, hearing the _buh-bwap_ of the tone to watch Keith react. He didn't get flustered like Matt thought he would.

"What is it?" He asks instead, showing him the text. Matt grins.

He was going to have _the best_ time teaching Keith the way of the text. And what a blessing it was, to corrupt Keith in the way of the nerd.

* * *

 _A/N: I have this headcannon that Matt is a sanguine-phlegmatic dork who also happens to be pan. In the meantime, did anyone notice Keith never got a holophone? The babe needs a holophone._


	5. Chapter 5

Keith had been practically glued to the screen of his new holophone. Not like _constantly,_ but in his free time, when he had Matt's reply at the back of his mind, unread, for some hours during a meeting or intel run, he would pull out his phone to see what he'd written and then slips it back into his pocket before they think he's distracted, although the urge to write back was niggling at the back of his mind.

Finally, at the end of the mission and after the briefing, Keith stowed back to the little room he was given at the base. He leans back against the closed door, pulling out the holophone. He had felt it vibrate mid-mission a few times and he was so curious about what Matt had sent him that it was a slight distraction.

Keith unlocks his phone, covering his mouth against a snort of laughter.

 _12:15; Look at this!_

 _12:15; ∠( ᐛ_ _」∠_ _)_ _＿_

 _12:15; Chillin' like a villain~_

Keith grins to himself, pursing his lips against the smile as he scrolled down to read the rest of the text.

 _15:01; Fought turtle-face today. I swear, Lotor was all like, (_ _ง •_ _̀_•́)_ _ง_ _Fight me bruh_

 _15:05; And Zarkon was all ─=≡Σ(((_ _༼_ _つ_ _ಠ_ _益_ _ಠ༽_ _つ_ _BRING IT BITCH_

 _15:08; meanwhile: Pidge was like ⁽͑˙˚̀_ _བ_ _̇˚́˙⁾̉ and my dad was like_ _ヾ_ _(´_ _ﾟ_ _Д_ _ﾟ｀_ _;)_ _ゝ_ _and I'm like ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ and then we were all like (Ɔ˘⌣˘)(˘⌣˘)˘⌣˘ C)_

 _15:15; reunited and it feels so good~_

Keith chuckles to himself, ending it in a sigh of contentment. It took him a little while to figure out the emoticons Matt used, but when he finally caught on, it tickled him pink to see them. Keith pulls down his hood, unhooking his belt and setting it on the bed. Hesitantly, Keith sets down the phone on the bed as well, grabbing a towel before he went to take a quick shower to clean off the day's layer of grime and sweat.

If he were being honest with himself, Keith never thought he'd be the type of person to constantly be on his phone. On Earth, he didn't have one (who was he gonna call anyway? Shiro, the abducted one? His dad, the dead one? His mom, the missing one?), and he was neither upset nor happy about it. He was alone most of the time, especially following Shiro's abduction and his expulsion from the Garrison. He could use technology just fine (mostly). So it kind of came as a surprise how often he finds himself checking his phone and texting back a reply, even going so far as putting in an emoticon with them because, and he quotes, " _they make texts a lot more interesting to read. Adds emotions, ya know? How am I supposed to know with what emotion you're writing if you don't put any kind of emoticons? That's where most misunderstandings happen in texts. Lack of emoticons."_

Keith's shower barely lasts fifteen minutes. He was never one to lounge about in the shower or bath. He had it hot, cleaned himself methodically (face, body, hair, in that order), and stepped out, dried himself mechanically, put on fresh clothes, and went back to his room after grabbing a drink and a snack. He stuffed the clothes in the overnight cleaning hamper on his way back into the room and fell into bed, picking up his phone.

Of course, he hadn't gotten another text since the last one. And although he knows Matt is probably busy with being reunited with his father, it makes him kind of… Lonely? But he's happy. It could also be that they were _time zones away_ and Matt was probably sleeping. They typically miss each other, playing catch up in text.

 _23:27; I'm glad._

Keith stares at the text he wrote, mulling over if he should send an emoticon and if so, which one should he use? He knew some basic ones, and he was nowhere near a master like Matt was. He sighs, rubbing his face. He was tired from the mission, but he still felt it needed something a little _more,_ ya know? He could kind of see where Matt was coming from in this regard. Would he take this as Keith being upset at him? Or jealous? Because surely he was neither. He _definitely_ needs to add another emoticon.

 _:D_ would be too… weird, in this context. _(:_ seemed too impersonal. Like, polite but distant, you know? _(;_ is just _wayyy_ out of context and isn't a winking smiley flirtatious? _^-^_ didn't match either...

Keith sighs. This emoticon stuff was _hard._ How did Matt seem to do it so easily? He felt so out of place and mismatched, but Matt seemed to be okay with him making blundering attempts at emoticon-ing. Keith turns to lay on his back, holding the phone up over his face as he mulls over the possibilities of response. So lost he was in his own head, staring at his lack-luster reply that he was entirely startled by the incoming text and the phone slipped from his hand, smacking straight down on his face.

" _Owww.."_ Keith sucks in a breath, turning to his side and rubbing his face. He picks up the phone, pouting at his own blunder.

 _00:57; Thanks! How did your mission go?_

Keith smiles, rolling onto his stomach to type out a response. This would be the first time in a week or so that they were up at the same time.

 _01:01; Successfully._

Keith paused. Then,

 _01:02; Enough._

It wasn't that bad waiting for a response. It didn't even take that long, really, but Keith found himself staring at the screen for the exact second the text came back.

 _01:05; Pffft, enough? Isn't it either successful or unsuccessful?_

Keith sighs, thinking it over.

 _01:06; It was supposed to be a stealth mission…_

Keith sets the phone up against the wall so he can lay his chin on his hands while he waits.

 _01:07; Omg. Hold on. This needs something more than text._

Keith furrows his brow. Something more than text…? Keith startles as the messaging screen left, replaced with, _Incoming Call from Phat Cat Matt._ He named himself, okay? Keith had nothing to do with that. His heart skipped a beat and he hesitates with his thumb over the answer button. Keith took a breath, feeling vaguely self-conscious of his still-damp hair as he finally pressed it. He was further startled to see Matt's face show up on the screens, beaming widely with a huge smile.

" _Keith!"_

Keith was glad it was pretty dim in the room, despite the white-blue light along the walls, because he was 120% sure he was blushing. He had been expecting just a regular call, not a _video_ call.

"Hey," Keith says back, giving his own smile, awkward though it may be. This was a hell of a lot different than the video conferences between Voltron, Marmorites, and the rebels. So… _intimate._ Just him and Matt.

" _Alright. So, lay it on me. I wanna hear the details. Right now. Spill them beans."_ Matt says, holding his phone up, and Keith could see the edges of a hammock in the background.

"There's not much to tell." Keith shrugs, glancing away for a moment. Besides the fact that the Blades keep sending him on stealth missions and _every time_ he blows cover for one reason or another. Just 'cause he was distracted by Matt's messages this time around didn't really matter. He would have blown cover anyway.

Matt laughs, bright and amused. He seemed like the type of person who would always smile, no matter the situation, like he was airheaded and everything went over his head. But Keith's been on the receiving end of his serious mood; how easily he seemed to have pinpointed and picked apart the situation. This boy is dangerous, Keith thinks briefly. Anyone who can come off as airheaded and clueless but have the capabilities to understand deeply and without much explanation are dangerous. But Keith doesn't really mind, because he doesn't get the feeling Matt would use it against him.

" _Of course there is. Just wait a tick, I need some snacks for this."_ Matt turns to the side, reaching for something out of the screen and the hammock leans to the side. Keith's heart skipped a beat when Matt overbalances and it sends him tumbling from the hammock, the visual blurring as the phone fell, landing face down. Keith jolts up into a sitting position, like there was even a way for him to help Matt up through the video.

"Are you okay?"

Matt mumbles somewhere off screen. There was the sound of scraping, the phone picked up off the metal floor and then Matt comes back into the visual field.

" _Yeah."_ Matt pouts, rubbing his head. He looks off screens and grins, grabbing the bag of chips he was reaching for to begin with. With a grunt of effort, he stood back up and flopped back into his hammock. " _Alright. You may begin."_ He pops open the bag, taking a bite.

"You have a hammock for a bed?" Keith asks by way of deflecting.

" _I wanted something cool in my room."_ Another bite of a chip. " _And don't change the subject!"_ Matt scolds playfully. Keith sighs, settling down to tell the story. How Lotor had given them another lead at intel and the Marmorites (as Lance and now Matt call them) where supposed to get in, _quietly,_ dismantle the security, and get out, _silently._ And of course, for whatever reason; maybe Keith's stars just _never_ align for him to be in and out without being seen; maybe he just _attracted_ attention, the next thing he knew is they were being shot at by drones and the fighters were scrambled and all that jazz. Good thing it was right after they'd dismantled security, though. They managed to get out unscathed, miraculously (the suits _do_ help a lot, though), and of course they got back to the base and were debriefed, and now here he was.

At least it made Matt laugh.

" _Oooh man,"_ Matt sighs, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye from laughing too much. Oddly enough, though, Keith didn't feel like he was being made fun of for not being able to pull off stealth. Like ever. Keith chuckled at himself, shaking his head. " _That was beautiful. Thank you."_ Matt smiles, setting his chips somewhere on the floor.

"I really don't know why they keep sending me on these missions where I'm supposed to be stealthy." Keith admitted a little sheepishly.

" _Obviously, it was_ exactly _because you can't be stealthy."_ Matt says soundly. " _The enemy is_ expecting _stealthy spies. And then you come in and BLAM, SURPRISE, BITCH, THOUGHT YOU'D SEEN THE LAST OF ME."_ Keith burst into giggles, covering his mouth.

"But how 'bout you, though?" Keith asks once he settles down. "I know you sent it in the text, but.."

" _It was pretty epic."_ Matt hums with a nod. " _Of course, Emperor Turtle-Face double-crossed us. But then we double-crossed his double-cross."_

"How'd you pull that off?" Matt looked pensive for a moment, lips pursed as if he was wondering if he should say it or not before he grins again, shrugging his shoulder. He pushes the wall off screen and starts to rock.

" _Shiro gave Lotor his bayard."_ Keith felt the ground slip from under his feet, metaphorically speaking. _He.. what?_ " _I was surprised too, ya know? Like, tell a brother what you gonna do."_ Matt says, like he's letting the whole thing slide, even though it's pretty obvious it still bugged him to be left out of the big decision. Keith would be too. Hell, _everyone_ was probably upset at Shiro's ballsy moves. A bad feeling started to wedge itself at the back of his subconscious and he tries not to think about how everything that had happened since they've gotten Shiro back just made him a bit more nervous. He couldn't really explain it. He loved Shiro, he was practically a brother, but… It was just this.. _gut_ feeling.

" _So then, Lotor breaks free of the manacles and he and Zar-zar get into this ridiculous fight and I swear I could hear the explosions from the ship we stowed onto."_ Keith pockets and files away the bad feeling, focusing more on Matt's amazing story-telling skills and chuckling at his theatrics that had him nearly flipping out of the hammock again. Keith laid his head on his folded arms, since the phone was leaned up against the wall he didn't find anything wrong with being a little more comfortable.

They continued like that for another hour or so, just talking about nonsensical things and stories. Keith's eyes felt heavier and heavier as the time dragged on. He had been tired to begin with, and with Matt's easy-going voice as he told his story, talking more mellowly the more Keith seemed to sag with sleep, he didn't stand a chance.

" _Oh, and then we totally showed off like_ everything _to Dad and— Keith?"_ Matt paused in his story. Keith didn't respond, eyes fully closed, body lax with sleep; face relaxed and the quieter Matt was, if he strained his ears he heard soft, deep and even breathing. Matt smiles, proud of himself. He not only made the stoic, ex-Black and Red Paladin of Voltron laugh, but he got him to fall asleep with a serene look on his face.

Good. He needed it.

Matt stayed on the call for a while longer, yawning himself after such a big day. He really should have been asleep hours ago, but how could he have possibly passed up a chance to talk with Keith? Another ten minutes or so passed with Keith not lifting his head or responding. Matt gives another smile, letting the picture Keith made carve itself into his mind.

" _Goodnight, Keith."_


	6. Chapter 6

Keith grimaces, touching the back of his hand to his lip. It wasn't busted or anything, luckily, but the fight from the Kral Zera had him busted up pretty bad. No thanks in part to Ilun and Vrek for ditching and leaving him to vainly attempt to turn off the bombs by himself. Not to mention when he leapt from the tunnel and grabbed Lotor on his way out, he banged up his hip and shoulder pretty bad. Keith may be strong, and Lotor may be lean, but that dude is _heavy._ It doesn't help that he bounced down the stairs a few times with Lotor in tow before his grip slackened and he let go.

So, face banged up, corner of his lip and cheek probably starting to bruise, his shoulder _definitely_ bruised, and with a limp in his walk, he makes his way to the bridge. Or attempts to. Should he even go? He means, yeah, he kinda saved Lotor from blowing up but that explosion probably wouldn't have even given him a scratch considering that it seems very other race besides humans are strong and tough. Compared to them, humans are such.. _fragile_ creatures. Keith, for once, is glad that his Galra genetics let him trudge on further than he would have had he been human.

Not to mention if him being there would even be appropriate at all. Lotor is the emperor now (sounds odd even to his ears), and it wasn't like the team is explicitly wanting his presence.

Keith makes another face, tasting blood on his tongue. He must've nicked it during battle or something. Maybe he just reopened it from all his grimacing. Great. Yeah. Keith should just.. Yeah, go take a pod back to the Marmora base. Although, it probably would be beneficial if he stopped by the infirmary for the meanwhile.

Sucking up his whining and grimacing for when he was alone and in his room, he stood up straighter and stepped away from the wall he'd been using as crutch and stepped closer to the center of the hall.

 _We cannot afford weakness,_ he can almost picture Kolivan say. Soreness thrums through his body; from the bottom of his feet, bouncing off the pain in his hip and then ricocheting off his shoulder and back down through his feet. He should just be glad he doesn't have any kind of head injury, and he is, really. With every step Keith reminds himself to breathe, that patience yields focus, and it helps a little bit.

 _Medicine, pod, base,_ Keith thought to himself. In that order: medicine, pod, base. Maybe throw in a nice, hot, drawn-out bath. And then he could check his phone, since he left it back in his room. He'd been rudely woken up that morning. Although, to be fair, he should have already been up and getting ready for this mission. So the phone was left on his bed where it had been left the night before. He needed to apologize to Matt when he gets back, for falling asleep during their talk.

 _Just right around the corner,_ Keith says to himself. And then he'd be home-free for the first part of his trek back to base. Where he could take a bath, relax for a couple hours, sleep maybe, and re-up for the next mission Kolivan most likely has lined up for him.

"Keith!"

Keith blinks, pausing in his slow walk to glance behind him.

"Matt," He greets back. Matt beams at him, practically running at him and for a second Keith was really worried Matt will literally tackle him down. Well, short of falling onto his back, Matt definitely tackled him. Keith's breath left him and he grunts a bit at the sheer momentum Matt slammed into him, arms wrapping around in a bear hug and lifting him off his feet for the briefest of moments.

"I heard you were amazing at the Kral Zera! You go dude!" Keith wheezed quietly, wincing at the pain that jolted in his joints but nonetheless patted Matt's back in his own awkward hug.

"Thanks," Keith responds, giving Matt an awkward smile when he finally pulls off. It was a nice hug. It was too bad Keith was in pain, otherwise it would've been a _really_ nice hug. Matt's eyes widen when he finally pulls back to look at Keith.

"You're hurt." He states the obvious.

"Yeah. I was on my way to the infirmary." Keith nudged his head back to where he was headed. "I was gonna get pain meds and some heat patches." Keith turns slightly back to his destination. At Matt's inquisitive look he says, "I banged up my hip and shoulder pretty bad. Thought it'd help."

"Oh man, and I prolly just made it worse now, huh?" Matt looks properly contrite and Keith tries to give him an assuring smile.

"It's not that bad." Keith takes a step and he winces when pain flares up his leg. Right, right, he'd been having that one-track, patience-yields-focus mantra he was thinking about instead of the pain. So it _could_ be pretty bad. Keith grits his teeth lightly and takes another step, slowly starting to limp.

"Which shoulder did you hurt?" Matt falls into step with him. Though it wasn't hard, considering how slow Keith was going.

"Uhm, left. Why?" Keith furrowed his brows lightly.

"Because this." Matt steps to Keith's right and picks up his arm, hauling it over his shoulder. The action caused Keith's hip to collide with Matt's and he sucked in a breath. Matt held an arm around his waist, hand oddly warm through the cosmesh of his suit. "Lemme guess, you hurt your right hip?" Keith nods, but doesn't protest the hold. If he's being honest, it actually takes a lot of the pressure off his leg and it feels a lot better than torturing himself. "Sorry. I'll be more careful." Matt smiles, slowly starting to lead them to the infirmary. "How'd you end up so banged up, anyway? I thought you mostly always get out unscathed."

"Lotor's _heavy."_ Keith huffs, leaning a bit into Matt's hold. "We bounced a couples times down the stairs after I grabbed him during the explosion. Must've landed wrong or something."

"Can't believe you're calling him fat." Matt snickers and Keith purses his lips against the snort of laughter.

"I am _not._ I just said he was _heavy."_

"Fat."

"Heavy."

" _Fat."_ Matt snickers and Keith rolls his eyes, allowing himself to chuckle, stopping only because it jarred him too much.

"You're hopeless." Matt opens the door to the infirmary, hobbling Keith over to a bed and sitting him down. Matt spares a quick glance at Keith, making a mental checklist of what he needs and starts to line them up on the counter. "I only need the pain meds. I can take care of the rest at the base." Keith kindly tells him.

"But what about the pain in your shoulder?" Matt presses, raises a brow. "Stretchy as you are, I don't think you'll be able to properly reach where you need to put the patch." Keith paused, mouth open to speak. He closes it a second later, conceding. "Good. Take it off, then." Matt says innocently, turning back to look for something. Keith's cheeks heat for a moment before he shakes it off. It wasn't like that, and Matt was right, not to mention it would probably hurt like a bitch to take off the armor by himself.

Stiltedly, Keith reached to unlatch the armor on his chest, pulling it off with difficulty. Matt helps him to pull it off the last bit of the way, setting it to the side. Keith reached back to his neck, fingers slipping between the slit that keeps the suit together down the spine. They work like magic and magnets, or something, to give the suit a seamless look. Keith pulls it open, pulling it off his hurt shoulder and Matt helping him to take it off from the other.

"Ouch, that looks like it hurts." Matt winces, seeing the blossoming bruise all along his shoulder and sneaking onto his back. "What happened here?" He asks curiously, poking the age-old scar on his right. Keith pulls off the gloves and then the sleeves, letting the suit rest at his waist.

"Trials of Marmora."

"And those are..?" Keith lifts his head when Matt lifted it with his fingers, flinching from the cotton pad with antiseptic that touched the scrape on his face.

"Back before I knew I was Galra, we met a member of the Blade and he gave us the location of their base.." Keith paused, wincing again as fresh round came close to his lip. "Me and Shiro went together. And I had the blade." Keith nudges his head to the side. Matt follows his gaze, seeing the blade jut out from its holster. "They made me go through the Trials of Marmora, to test if the blade was mine or not."

"Why wouldn't it be?" Keith sighs, well at least _someone_ believed in him. Maybe he should've found Matt first before going to the base for the first time.

"Luxite blades are exclusively given to members of Marmora, whom are Galran. I don't exactly fit the description, do I?" Keith motions to himself. Matt gives him a once over, from the tips of his toes to the top of his head and Keith struggles not to blush badly, seeing as he was naked from the waist up and he just motioned to himself. He didn't _mean_ to do it, okay?

"And how would they know if the blade is yours or not?" Matt asked, throwing away the used cotton balls and picking up the numbing cream, taking a gander at the blossoming bruise all on his back and shoulder.

"You need to have Galran blood to be able to activate it."

"How do you activate it?" Matt asked, then a second later, "I'm gonna put the cream on, so it'll hurt, sorry hon'." Keith nods, taking a breath and pursing his lips against the pain flaring in his shoulder. But this was nice, though. Talking with Matt actually provided a decent enough distraction from the pain. With his free hand he pulls out his blade, giving a second to grab Matt's attention before it transforms into a bigger sword. "Neat. But how did you get this?" Matt taps the scar. Keith puts away his blade, wincing when Matt's fingers dragged over a particularly tender area.

"It was a fight. Of sorts." Keith shrugs lightly, taking a deep breath as the pain started to ebb away just barely, the cream smoothing on cool and warming up. "I got pretty beaten up… Red ended up attacking the base, thinking I was in trouble." He chuckles a bit, pursing his lips against another flare of pain as Matt's fingers move into the bruised flesh just under his shoulder blade. It made him somewhat… sad, that he remembered how Red protected him. Now she protects Lance. Which was fine, you know, Red _should_ protect her paladin. But it just kinda.. makes him feel unwanted. He mentally shakes his head, gritting his teeth against another flare as Matt's fingers slid closer to his spine. " _Crap._ How big _is_ this bruise?" Keith turns his head, attempting to see the damage.

"Pretty big. I'd say take it easy, but I'm pretty sure you're too edgy for that." Matt chuckles, spreading some more down his back. It dips lower on his ribs and Keith twitches away. Matt chuckles again. "Sorry. Ticklish?" He says teasingly. Keith tries not to pout. Being ticklish is a self-defense mechanism, okay? For _whatever_ reason the body deigned it to be that. "Okay. That's it for _that_ bruise." Matt hums, then steps to the other side and sits down on the infirmary bed. "For the next one."

Keith looks down, seeing the skin on his hip start to blacken under his gaze. With a breath, he shimmies the suit further down his stomach, barely down his side. He didn't want to be like, _naked,_ in front of his crush.

"I think I got this one." Keith says, only partially embarrassed.

"Even where it spreads to your back?" Keith blinks, twisted his torso in his attempt to look and winces when he does. Pursing his lips, he gives in.

"Fine, fine.." He sighs. Matt grins triumphantly.

"Would it be better if you laid down on your side?" Matt hums for a moment, kneeling down to be hip-level as he narrows his eyes at the bruise. "Actually, gimme a sec." He stands, Keith follows his movements, confused. "Stay. Right. Here." Matt steps back, palms up, motioning them down with every enunciation. "Imma be right back. Start putting the cream on where you can reach, okay?" Keith catches the tube of cream with his good hand and nods.

"Okay.." He was still a bit confused; where could he be going? He makes it sound like he'll come back so.. nothing too bad to worry about, right? Matt smiles his easy-going smile.

"Beautiful, B-R-B." Matt says again before slipping from the room. Keith's eyes stay on the door for a few seconds after Matt left before he sighed and squeezed some cream into his fingers and started to work them into his hip.

It was a lot less embarrassing to slide his suit further down his hip without Matt in the room. He didn't _think_ these suits were meant to be worn with boxers. At least, he'd think that wearing them _with_ boxers would be very uncomfortable and… yeah.

Keith flinches as he presses his fingers into his hip, sucking in a breath. What a sight he made, he thinks. Figures he would be the one getting senselessly hurt. He didn't get the cream spread further than around his hipbone before a knock at the door stole his attention. Matt strolls right in, a bundle of folded clothes in his hands. Keith feels just a bit more bashful again, practically naked.

"How's it going?" Matt asks, setting the clothes nearby on the cot.

"It's uh.. alright." He says lamely. Keith didn't know how Matt did it so quick. Matt chuckles.

"Yeah. Figured. I got some clothes for you to change into." Keith blinks, looking from Matt to the pile of clothes. "They're mine. Thought they'd be more comfortable." He shrugs, like this thoughtfulness was just just an afterthought. "Need help changing?" Now _that_ was an afterthought. Keith's cheeks redden just slightly.

"Just the shirt." He says after a moment's hesitation. Matt smiles and picks up the shirt. Keith wipes the residue cream off his fingers before Matt helps to get the shirt through the holes and over his head. It wasn't that hard, considering the shirt he was given had him _swimming_ in it. "Are you sure this is yours?"

"Pfft. I happen to _like_ giant shirts." Matt says in that _for-your-information_ type of tone. The shirt fell down to his lap, effectively covering him in seafoam green, bunching around his lap. He had a feeling it looked way bigger on him than it does on Matt. He did have a couple inches on him, not to mention probably more muscle than him. Keith smiles back, giving a nod of thanks before leaning down to get his shoes off.

Normally it would be easy. He was flexible than most, but with the pain radiating from his hip, he could barely reach the bottom of his shins. He hears Matt snicker before he was kneeling down by his feet. He had one leg folded under him. The other propping up his chin with a grin.

"Need some help there, mate?" He says teasingly. Keith huffs, gritting his teeth as he strains to bend forward just the tiniest big more. "Hey, hey. No need." Matt's teasing grin turns gentle and his fingers find the little inconspicuous knob by his ankle, slipping his fingers under the slit and pull off the shoe once it loosens at the vamp. Keith smiles shyly, relaxing back only a tad. Matt pulls off the other shoe with the same gentleness, setting them side-by-side at the foot of the cot.

Now Keith is just feeling rosey for a whole 'nother reason.

"Thanks.." He says bashfully, pushing up on his hands by his side to attempt to stand. The _least_ he could do was stand and put on some dang shorts by himself, but no.

"Hey now," Matt's suddenly up in his space. His arms come around his midline and hoist him up lightly and Keith is both grateful or Matt's ability to invade his personal space while simultaneously respecting it and exasperated at his own lack of ability to take care of himself. Once up, Keith shudders as the cold floor meets the soles of his feet. He leans against Matt for the briefest of moments, a pause of a heart's beat, before he takes the help that's been given. He was just glad Matt couldn't see his face, sure that it was red.

* * *

Matt tries to hold him as carefully as he could. His arms were angled: the left carefully above his hip, and right below his ribs as best he could. At first he was sure Keith would fight him; at least try and keep up appearances that he didn't need help. You know, that whole "bad-boy" spiel. But Keith doesn't. Because he's a precious cinnamon roll: too good, too pure for this world. And Matt gets another hug. _Bonus._

Keith squirms around in arms, twitching and wincing as he squirms the suit down his hips and thighs.

"Okay. Gonna set you back down." Matt warns, taking care to set him down as gingerly as possible. Who knows how far down that bruise goes. Keith sighs once he's back to sitting, mumbling a thanks as he proceeds to try and kick off his leggings with as minimal movements as possible. The shirt falls down to his knees. "What're those suits made of?"

"Cosmesh. And something else, probably. Magic." Matt snorts.

"Is that why they stick to your skin like glue?" He asks, kneeling once again to pull at the bottom of the pant leg, Keith wincing when it tugged too harshly. But finally they were off and Matt stands to fold the thing best he could.

"Probably." Keith says, a bit preoccupied with slipping on the borrowed shorts. "It's fairly stretchy though, and thick, so space isn't that cold." Matt hums in response, setting the folded suit near the armor before turning around to rummage through the drawers to give the illusion of privacy.

"That sounds smart. Gives full mobility?" He asks, finding a packet of painkillers. He chances a look in the mirror of the cabinet, then looks back into the drawer while he waits for Keith to settle.

"Mostly. It's the top armor that kind of hinders mobility. But, it does protect the heart in case I get shot, so," Matt turn around when he hears Keith settle, holding out the two little white pills and a bottle of water. "Thanks." Keith takes them gratefully.

"Did you have to report to the bosso's?" Matt leans against the cabinet, taking in the entirety of Keith. He looks pretty cute in green. Then again, he looks pretty cute in anything. Keith shakes his head.

"Did that on the way here. I was planning on going back to base to rest." Matt hums, taking the pain patches and opening one.

"Great. Wanna rest up here? It'll prolly be a bitch to go back now." Matt sits on the cot, Keith getting the hint and helps pull up the shirt to expose his bruise. Matt slips it on in the middle of it, smoothing it to stick to his skin.

"I—" Keith paused, like he was about to refuse. Matt _did_ just put a wench in his plans. As always. "S-sure.." He agrees, and Matt could see the tips of his ears getting red. He smiles to himself.

"Great. I swiped these chips from Pidge. They're fan- _freaking_ -tastic." Matt grins. "And you can tell me more about the mission. And I'll remind you never to catch someone as fat as Lotor again." Keith snickers, taking a breath when it jarred his body too much. "Seriously. It looks like you got smacked down by a sumo."

"Oh my god— stop—" Keith laughs, shaking his head as Matt switched to the other side of the cot by his hip.

"I can't ever stop. The truth _must_ be known." Matt grins, Keith letting the shirt fall back down to his lap. He takes the forgotten tube of cream and after Keith holds up the shirt, he sets to work it into the bruises. He grins when Keith twitches when his fingers dance along his ribs but he doesn't tickle on purpose.

"What? Gonna post it on the galactic 'net? 'Prince Lotor? More like Prince Fatsor'?" Matt pauses before bursting into laughter.

"Keith— oh my _god, Keith—_ that's beautiful." Matt settles himself, still snickering as he massages the cream into his lower back, as the bruise trailed from his hip and onto his back. "I'm totally stealing that." Matt takes the other patch and slips it on, dipping it under the hem of the basketball shorts. Or close to it. Clothes is clothes.

"Glad you find it funny." Keith smiles his thanks, letting the shirt fall back down.

"I don't just find it funny. I find it flippen hilarious." Matt smiles back, tossing the cream on the counter for someone else to put in its proper place. "Feeling any better yet?" Keith nods.

"Yeah. The pills really helped." Matt nods once, standing up.

"Let's go, then. I got snacks waiting in the living room." Matt once again helps Keith to his feet. He wobbles but doesn't falls, thanks in part to Matt's grip on his waist and the arm around his shoulder. "I've never actually tried the Altean painkillers, how are they?"

"They are… really strong." Keith says, furrowing his brows a little.

"Like the, smoked-too-much-now-I-can't-get-up kinda strong or the face-is-numb-from-novacane kinda strong?" Keith purses his lips, limping along to wherever Matt was taking them.

"I— I've never smoked before.. And I have no clue what novacane is." He says, slightly confused. "It's kinda numbing everything?" He says, sounding worried.

"Oh wow. That strong, huh? Don't worry, I gotchu babe." Matt smiles, holding him just a little bit closer. Keith leans on him, giving a smile that was more than likely the result of being on those painkillers. Maybe he should've only given one? Whoopsie. "When's the last time you ate?" Matt hobbles them to the common room, letting the lights on as he limps Keith down the small stairs to the couch.

"Uhm…" Keith seems to try and think hard. "I can't remember.. I think I had breakfast?" Matt tuts, setting him down gently.

"Stay here, 'kay? I'll be back in a second." Keith hums from his place on the couch, looking like he was practically melting into it. Damn. Those are some _really_ good pills. Matt takes another second to make sure Keith doesn't go anywhere (not like he could, but ya know. Just in case) before he runs to his makeshift guest room to dress in something equally as comfy, grab his bag of goodies and run back to Keith before anyone spots him or finds Keith. They'd probably be too busy with everything, now that Lotor is now king, but whatever.

When he steps back into the common room, Keith was still where he left him, if not a lot more out of it. Matt deposits the bag by his feet as he sits.

"Hey, Keith? You okay there?" Keith blinks, eyes falling back on Matt.

"I.. I think so? I kinda don't know where I'm at." Matt presses his lips together against a giggle. _Damn, he's so high._

"It's okay. You're in the living room at the castle. I'ma take care of you, yeah?" Matt takes out a drink pouch, helping Keith to hold it. Keith hums, taking a long swig from the straw. Matt takes his own, sitting back and enjoying the cool drink. "How are you feeling?" Keith takes another moment to answer, like it took a while for him to compute the question.

"Weird."

"Weird..?"

"Yeah.. Kinda dizzy. Weightless? But heavy." Keith wore such a confused face. "Not good…" Matt sits up, brows furrowed as he looks over Keith.

"Think you can eat? It should help you feel better." Keith gives a little groan like chewing was the worst thing to do but Matt grabs the bag of stolen chips and pops them open. "C'mon. Open. _Ahhhh~"_ Matt mimics and opens his mouth, grabbing a chip to feed Keith when he finally complies. He didn't so much as chew it but rather waited for it to dissolve in his mouth before swallowing. They spend the next few minutes like this, Matt feeding Keith and making him take sips until he saw a change in his demeanor.

Keith takes a breath, sinking back into the couch cushions. Matt smiles, sitting much the same again.

"Feeling better?" He asks, patting his stomach playfully. Keith hums, glancing down at his hand. He places his own over his.

"Thank you." He says, more down-to-earth but still pretty high if his pupils said anything about it. "You're so nice. What was I gonna do without you?" He kind of slurs, turning his head to rest against the back of the couch to look at Matt. He might've been too high to realize he didn't let go of Matt's hand but that was fine by him.

Matt chuckles. "I'm sure you would have muscled through it like an Edgelord™." Matt rests his head on the back of the couch, facing him sideways. Keith's fingers are absentmindedly tapping along on the top of his hand. For how much he knows Keith trains, he doesn't have that bad of a callous on his fingers. Barely any on his hands.

"'M sorry." Matt hums.

"What for?"

"For fallin' asleep. I left m' phone on the bed this mornin'." He kind of slurs. Matt hums again, using his free hand to feed him another chip, popping one into his mouth.

"It's okay. You need your rest." Keith hums, not really able to give another argument as Matt feeds him another chip. "Coulda sworn you'd be saying something like, 'sleep is for the weak,' or something." Keith chuckles.

"Sounds like somethin' Kolivan would say." A moment. "Those chips are _really_ good." Matt grins.

"Aren't they? Pidge has the best taste in junk food." He feeds another one to Keith, who seems to have forgotten he had arms. Or a body. Who knows what Keith had forgotten up there in Keith-high-land. "So, tell me about the mission." Keith gives another hum, docilly opening his mouth to be fed when Matt holds up another chip.

"I honestly had no idea what was happening, like, 90% of the time. At all." He giggles to himself, more tapping of his fingers on Matt's hand. "Didn't even know what the Kral Zera was. Or what it meant, anything. Literally. And then, oh! _Then,"_ Keith looks at him exasperatedly. "Wait, no. _First,_ we were just gonna blow the whole thing up, right? Cuz fuck stealth, that's why." He pouts. Matt chuckles and nods, feeding him another chip. "But _then,"_ he pauses again, narrowing his eyes in thought. "Yeah, _then,_ I hear Black's roar and I was like, _what the fuck?"_ Keith raises the hand atop his with the appropriate hand gesture.

"Seriously, what the fuck?" Matt mimics, getting ready to retract his hand when Keith's hand comes back down on his hand.

" _Right?_ So I go and check it out, and there's _Black._ And fucking _Lotor._ And we had _just_ set the damn bombs!" He sighs, rapping his fingers along Matt's knuckles. His other hand hand come to join, trailing the groves in between his fingers. "So I went back, and tried to disable all the bombs. And when I ran into Ilun and Vrek and _told them_ we couldn't set them off, you know what they said?"

Matt gasps playfully. "They didn't."

"They did."

"Those bitches." Keith giggles a bit at his cursing.

"Yeah. So I tried to disabled them. And then realized I jus' couldn't disable them all, cuz they were all timed individually, and I was like, well fuck. And _that's_ when I jumped and grabbed Lotor and—" Keith made explosion noises, raising Matt's hand and letting it flop down a couple times to imitate his crash. "And you know the result. I really don't know how I fought the rest of the battle." He hums as he eats another chip that was fed.

"Like a damn boss is how." Matt chuckles, licking his fingers and setting the empty bag elsewhere. Keith smiles again, a little dopily, and Matt is gonna blame it on the painkillers, but there wasn't a doubt in his mind that Soft Keith™ is the best Keith.

"How was your day?" Keith asks, letting his head loll to the side. His fingers were still making swipes along Matt's hand absentmindedly and Matt scoots in a little closer, sitting hip to hip, careful to move without jostling Keith's hold on his hand.

"Well, it wasn't as exciting as yours but—" Matt starts, breaking into his normal storytelling mode. He whips out his phone with his free hand to show some pictures he took of the day's adventures. He talked until Keith's movements slowed and he felt a weight leaned against his side, Keith's head slipping onto his shoulder, his breath soft against his neck.

Matt stays quiet for another moment, seeing if he were truly asleep before smiling to himself.

"So cute." He hums, kissing Keith's head before he starts to move, careful to not jostle Keith to waking (though how that would be possible at the moment is beyond him). Matt slips his arm behind Keith, slowly lowering himself on his back, Keith cuddled up to his side, but mostly on top. Matt has to stop himself from squealing at the picture Keith painted.

Matt bites his lip, giving into temptation as he gently lets Keith's hand slip from his, setting it down by his side, and grabs his phone, flipping it to camera mode. He angles it just so— snapping a close-up picture of Keith sleeping and holds his breath after the camera shutter clicks. Keith stays asleep and Matt lets out a slow breath, smiling to himself as he puts on a shoujo filter, complete with the flowers and swirls.

"So perfect." He holds the phone with his left, letting the one near the couch absentmindedly rub Keith's back, moving their legs out onto the couch as comfortably as they could have them.

Matt didn't know how much time had passed, with Keith asleep and him just chilling, when his phone buzzed with a message. He blinks, opening the lock.

 _Pigeon;_

 _23:15; MAAAAAAATTTTT! Are you still on the ship? Come help me with something!_

Matt hums, a grin forming on his lips.

 _23:16; Can't._

 _23:16; Cat paralysis._

Matt purses his lips on a snicker at her response.

 _23:17; WHAT?! WHAT CAT? WE DON'T HAVE CATS ON THE SHIP, DO WE?_

Matt grins again, flipping to camera mode and giving a kissy face to the camera, being sure to get Keith snoozing against his chest, cute even with that awful bruise along his cheek. Made him look like some adorable alley cat.

 _23:19; … Is that Keith?_

Matt snorts, quickly going to edit the photo with Keith with black cat years and cute whiskers, even going so far as giving him a little black button nose.

 _23:21; /picture sent/_

 _23:21; Whot? No. Obviously, it's a cat._

Matt chances a glance down to see Keith completely asleep through all of that. He smiles, picking up the phone when he feels the vibrations in his hand.

 _Pigeon;_

 _23:25; Omg. I_ have _to send this to the team._

Matt nearly jerks to a sitting position.

 _23:25; No! Kitty is for_ mine _eyes only! ⁞_ _つ_ _: •̀ ⌂ •́ : ⁞-_ _︻╦_ _̵̵͇̿̿̿̿══╤─_

 _23:25; But seriously. Don't send it to anyone._

 _23:26; I don't want Keith to be teased about it._

About being open, vulnerable, trusting. Surely, even in jest and with love, Keith would see it as his trust being broken if he were to find out this picture got around to everyone. Big bad Marmorite Keith, showing weakness and it being paraded around the galactic net? Yeah, that wouldn't end well.

 _Pigeon;_

 _23:27; Oh, yeah. I got it. I won't send it. Cross my heart.(◕_ _ฺ‿◕ฺ✿ฺ_ _)_

 _To Pigeon;_

 _23:27; Yu don't have a heart, Satan ^(#_ _´)_Ψ_ _････・･†_ __(_ _ﾟｰﾟ_ _*)β MAY THE POWEER OF CHRIST COMPEL YOUU_

 _Pigeon;_

 _23:28; Ugh. Fine. Swear on my newest Killbot Phantasm I: Journey to the Depths of the Demonsphere. (_ _＠_ _＿｀＠_ _)_

 _To Pigeon;_

 _23:29; Much better, Satan. I accept your swear._

 _Pigeon;_

 _23:29; Actually, it's pronounced Sah-teen._

Matt snorts, covering his mouth before he burst into laughter at the reference.

 _23:30; G'night loser._

Matt smiles.

 _23:30; G'night my demonic honey bunches of oats. (_ _｡・‧_ _̫_ _・｡_ _).*_ _＊_

Matt sets down his phone, glancing at at Keith who _still_ sept quite peacefully. Taking a liberty, Matt threads his fingers through Keith's hair, marveling at the thickness and softness. Matt works his fingers along his scalp and pauses when Keith intakes a sharp breath, only to exhale and wiggle closer.

Matt lets out a breath he was holding, fingers automatically going back to their previous actions. With a hum, he snuggles into the couch and subsequently into a more cuddly position with Keith. As he gets comfortable, he couldn't help placing another kiss to Keith's sleeping head.

Matt could probably rest here forever.

* * *

 _Pigeon;_

 _03:32; WAIT JUST A FUCKING COTTON-PICKIN' MINUTE…_

 _03:32; ARE THOSE MY FUCKING CHIPS IN THE BACKGROUND?!_

* * *

 _A/N: Have another chapter! And just wow, does_ not _like emoticons... Just uhhhh easier to read it o ao3 lmao_


	7. Chapter 7

_When he started to regain consciousness, he felt oddly warm. Safe. A hand was moving along his back in a steady beat, another hand in his hair scratching at his scalp that made him want to go back to sleep. All he knew was that he hadn't felt this good in a long time, irregardless of the soreness his body exudes._

 _Keith sucks in a breath, sighing it out as he finally blinks his eyes open. The lights in the room were dimmed and he wonders why his room's light weren't just completely off. The steady beat under his ear provided a soothing melody trying to lull him back to sleep._

 _Wait._

 _Keith furrows his brow, shifting his eyes around without moving. Blue fabric caught his eye, the beginnings of an arm peeking out from a sleeve. What happened again? Keith tries hard to think back. He remembers the Kral Zera. He remembers getting to the Castle of Lions, the infirmary… And everything just kind of goes foggy after taking those pills—_

 _Oh._

 _Keith knows who this heartbeat belonged to._

 _With another deep inhale, he catches Matt's scent and relaxes once more from the tension he'd amassed while trying to figure out if he was in danger. Keith grumbles to himself, unintentionally turning his face into Matt's chest more. He'd wanted to fall back asleep, safe and warm, but now that wakefulness had taken hold, he was no longer able to. Matt's chest rumbled with a chuckle._

" _Good morning, hon. Sleep well?" Matt's hands didn't stop moving and he was grateful; they helped soothe the soreness in his muscles. Keith grumbles another response into his chest. "Hmmm? What was that, love?" If Keith were awake enough he'd probably would have blushed._

" _Yeah," Keith rolls his head to lay on his cheek. "Really well." Keith didn't see any kind of urgency to get up nor was he really willing to._

" _And how are you feeling?"_

 _Keith takes a second to mentally take stock of his body. "Better. Sore."_

" _Yeah, I bet. You were like a walking bruise." Matt laughs lightly, the movement shaking Keith who still was unwilling to give up his spot. Not like it seemed Matt cared._

" _Mmm. You never did tell me not to catch someone as heavy as Lotor again." Matt gasps in shock, his fingers stilling in Keith's hair._

" _Yes I so did!" He spoke as if scandalized. "You were just too high to remember. But now I'm gonna remind you again: don't catch sumos in your free time." Keith snickers, minisculely shaking his head._

" _Sir, yes'sir."_

 _Matt's fingers go back to pressing into his scalp and despite Keith not feeling the tug to unconsciousness just seconds prior, he fell back asleep._

* * *

 _Some time later, Keith and Matt found themselves back in the infirmary again. Keith could walk without needing to be supported, but that didn't change the fact he looked like a giant bruise when he took his shirt off so Matt could change the pain patches._

 _It might've been unfair of Matt to do this, right as Keith was practically shirtless and in his grasp as he applies a new patch to the bruised skin on his back._

" _Hey Keith…" Keith turns his head the little bit, Matt catching his eye. "Want to go on a date?"_

Keith tried not to let the stupid grin on his face show too much. He felt like he was on cloud nine. It felt like everything was finally going _right,_ for once in his life. His team is doing great without him, Voltron is formed and more people are joining the coalition with the help of Lotor's new position of emperor. The Marmora is gaining ground, and Keith feels like he's finally, _finally,_ getting his feet back on the ground for the first time since Shiro disappeared.

 _Keith had never been to a carnival before. Or whatever this was. Where there was carnival rides and food and ridiculously overpriced games that were tipped out of your favor. He never had anyone to go with, not to mention he had no idea what to do there. Figures, then, that Matt would be the one to take him there and actually prove how much fun it could be._

" _You've_ never _been to a carnival before?" Matt's eyes went wide and his jaw dropped in surprise. "Oh, this is gonna be good."_

He went to bed with a goofy smile on his face and woke up the same way, looking at the new backdrop of his holophone. He and Matt stared back at the camera, Matt's arm around his shoulder, pulling him in close, lips puckered to kiss his cheek while his other hand held the camera up to take a picture of them. Keith, on the other hand, had a blush on his cheeks, smiling shyly at the camera. His hand on Matt's knee, his other hand hugging a ridiculous ugly plushie to himself. They were out of their typical attire and back into street clothes, letting them blend into the crowd at the carnival.

 _Matt dragged him left and right, walking the length of the carnival several times over since Matt didn't just go straight down the line of activities, preferring to go to one, then go to another across the carnival, then zig-zagging to the next. Matt shoved him into a booth and they took the silliest pictures Keith thinks he has ever taken in his life (granted, he could probably count the amount of pictures he's taken of himself on his fingers, but nevertheless)._

Keith touched his fingers to his lips, feeling giddy at the memory of a kiss and he feels ridiculously happy at such a simple action. The plushie Matt had won him was in the corner of his bed, looking like four toys had been sown together to create one. It was atrocious and it shouldn't have been created, and Keith was never one to hold onto toys and such, but Keith loved it anyway.

" _Boo-yah!" Matt thrusts his hand up in cheer. "Now, which one, which one…" Matt says to himself, ignoring the completely bored-out-of-existence expression the Unulu prize keeper had on her face. He had enough tickets to buy a big prize, but knowing so little about Keith, he couldn't just like, get_ anything. _It was then it caught his eye. "That one!"_

With a sigh, Keith rolls out of bed. Kolivan had told him he had a new mission when he came back to the base. Keith felt oddly like he was coming home to a stern father after the date, hiding his plushie in a backpack filled with other prize-junk they won. It wasn't like he wasn't _allowed_ to go out and have fun, but Keith didn't do much of that anyway, so it felt awkward to have been greeted that way and Keith schooled his expression into one of seriousness before stowing away to his room.

 _07:05; Good morning, light of my life~ (_ _づ￣_ _³_ _)_ _づ_

 _07:05; Just wanted to say that~ good luck on your next mission~_

Keith smiles to himself, staring at the message for a second longer before getting ready.

 _07:15; Talk to you soon. ( *¯ ³¯*)_

Keith giggles at himself, feeling his cheeks heat and he sends it before he could stop himself. He takes a breath, sliding the phone into his pockets and schools his face into something less… love-struck.

"Good, you're here." Kolivan looked up from what he was typing and swipes it clean, bringing up the next mission information. He didn't mention last night when Keith came in, nor that he had showed up ten minutes late, and for that, Keith was grateful. He never had that awkward talk with parents about coming home late or whatever, and he'd rather not have that be with Kolivan. Keith's mind shifts to focusing on the mission at hand, asking few questions to fill in his own information. "We need you to infiltrate the base, extract our spy, and destroy Ranveig's weapon. Keith, this is of the utmost importance. If either faction acquires this weapon, it could tip the balance of power in their favor." Kolivan paused to meet Keith's eye. "So you cannot allow your feelings to cloud your judgement."

"I wouldn't—"

"You have in the past." And _ouch,_ didn't that hurt? Keith grits his teeth, pursing his lips just slightly. It was moments like _these_ in which Keith has trouble compensating between the Galra way and the things Matt tells him. "Remember, the mission is the only thing that matters." _The mission is the only thing that matters._ Isn't it funny how one little comment can break down the brittle wall of emotions he had built and savored these past few weeks? "Emotions are a luxury we cannot afford."

Matt flashes in his mind, telling him, _Don't_ ever _think your life means less than the mission._ And it hurt, just a little, because he _wanted_ to believe Matt and some part of him does, craves it even. But then here are the Blades, telling him nothing matters more than the mission and Keith feels once again at a crossroads.

Do the needs of the many really outweigh the needs of a few?

* * *

The first day or so on the whale had his mind occupied. Finding his mother and coming into the information of how he came to be was a lot to digest. Not to mention finding a cosmic wolf and saving it from monsters. It was the next night, when everything settled, that Keith allowed himself to pull out his phone.

 _13:02; Stay safe, hun.3_

 _13:03; Go kick some ass! ✧(_ _ु•⌄•_ _)_

Keith smiles to himself, allowing himself to feel an inkling of an emotion. How human could Keith allow himself to be, to put himself above the mission?

 _19:59; You would not believe who I met today._

 _19:59; My mother._

 _20:00; Small world, huh?_

Bud whines next to him, demanding his attention and he looks down at the wolf, petting his head. His name wasn't actually Bud, but using Buddy was kind of like a stand-in until he feels comfortable enough telling his name. Keith slips the phone back into his pocket before Krolia comes back from gathering wood, wondering how Matt will react and smiles to himself at the thought.

* * *

Matt never replied back, though.

 _13:02; Stay safe, hun.3_

 _13:03; Go kick some ass! ✧(_ _ु•⌄•_ _)_

The messages stared back at him as the last things Matt sent. Keith sent more messages randomly, _I got a wolf now. It's a cosmic wolf. He doesn't have a name yet. I assume when he's comfortable enough with me, he'll tell me._

 _I learned how my mom got to earth. I think it's funny that the first thought my dad had when he saw my mom was "oh hey, look, an alien babe."_

 _How are your missions going?_

 _Is everything okay?_

 _I'm worried._

 _I miss you._

For days, Keith didn't hear anything back from Matt. Those days turned into weeks, and those weeks turned into a month and yet still, no message from Matt had been received. Often times, they were awake and on opposite schedules, overlapping mission times, but Keith would _always_ get a response back from Matt. At least once daily, to every text. He had thought… He had thought they were doing well, this fragile relationship they had. He had thought… He had thought Matt felt the same. It _felt_ the same, despite Keith not being good with words or feelings, he felt Matt felt the same…

But to not have a text since? It hurt a lot more than Keith was willing to admit.

A few months passed and Keith had been left with the scant few messages he's sent and no incoming. He'd been left with memories, the pictures on his phone, Matt's previous texts. Melancholy took him, and he hoped Matt was okay, wherever he was.

"Keith?" Krolia calls his name. Keith hums his response, sitting on a rock at the lip of the cave, legs crossed as he watched the rain fall. Buddy slept next to him, curled up as Keith absentmindedly pet him. Keith had been looking over pictures again, feeling listful and restless but finding no energy to move and he blames it on the pouring rain. Krolia stays quiet for a moment before he hears her move. A second later and she was by his side, putting a hand on his shoulder. It was such a.. a _dad_ thing, you know? Weren't moms supposed to be like, huggy and such? Not that Keith knows anything about that. "Are you alright? You've been rather quiet for a while." And the way she says it, he knows she means overall. They'd talked a while, tid bits here and there, getting to know each other. But over the following weeks, with no word from Matt, he'd withdrawn.

"... Yeah." He finally responds. His phone was back in his pocket, feeling himself slip into feelings he shouldn't the longer he stared at the messages long gone. Krolia is quiet for a moment, tactful in her approach.

"... does it have anything to do with your communicator?" Keith takes a breath, exhaling and slouching further, shoulders caving in.

"Yeah…" He didn't have any reason to lie. It wasn't a secret, either, even if they had kept it pretty down-low around the team.

"Is it someone you like?" Keith purses his lips, irrationality prickles at his eyes.

"Yeah.." Krolia slips her hand off his shoulder only to maneuver her way to the opposite side of him, sitting on a boulder that was just a little higher than his.

"Tell me about them?" Krolia gently inquires. Keith blinks his eyes a few times, dispelling the moisture quickly. He mulls it over a few seconds, weighing options. Krolia wouldn't force him to talk, he was sure. Their relationship was still fresh, still new, and he was sure Krolia has got that woman's intuition, and knew when to not overstep his boundaries.

"His name's Matt.." Keith starts, feeling oddly bashful. He hadn't even told _Shiro_ about this yet. But then again, he and Shiro weren't… the _closest_ at this moment. "He's actually.. Pidge's older brother. You know Pidge, right? The Green Paladin." And wow, yeuup, does it feel a bit awkward. But it wasn't, like, terrible.

Krolia listens intently, facing him and after a while, Keith finally turns to her as well. She listened without judgement, without unneeded comments, just a supporting ear to listen to him gush about his boyfriend. He showed her some pictures, of them, of the few pictures Matt took when they first got the phone for him. How he even _has_ a phone because Matt wanted to talk to him. Otherwise, he was sure he wouldn't have one at all.

"Matt sounds like a great guy." Krolia smiled, giving easy acceptance. Of course, she remembers her own love like yesterday. A mother's want is to keep pain from her child, but she knew better than anyone that a child needs to go through these pains to grow.

"He is." Keith smiles, looking at the backdrop on his phone. Once the gushing was out though, he felt the melancholy creep back in.

"Keith.." Keith raises his head, Krolia placing a hand on his shoulder. "He isn't ignoring you."

"How do you know?" He asks, wanting _something_ to hold onto, even if it was a lie.

"We're in the quantum abyss, signals are distorted here…" She says gently and realization slowly dawns on Keith, the truth of her words. "Your messages aren't being picked up, and his messages aren't being received.." Keith's eyes fall back down to the holophone, jaw dropped to say something back but closes it, words lost in the cognizance.

"I hope he's okay…"

"Me too." Krolia smiles, gently squeezing his shoulder. Keith smiles back, it was sad but it felt like a weight had been lifted, if just barely.

* * *

Knowing that little tidbit of information did little to dampen the longing he felt; the worry, the yearning. The only thing he felt better about was that Matt wasn't actively ignoring him, and that, hopefully, Matt's time wasn't going like his was. He really didn't want Matt thinking he was ignoring him, or thinking he was dead, or any other foolish nonsense.

After the talk, he still pulled out the pictures and messages often to look at them, finding they kept him going. Krolia didn't tell him his feelings were inadequate, a danger to the mission. She didn't tell him that emotions were a luxury they couldn't afford. Hell, that would've been really hypocritical if she _did_ say all that, when she was the one who fell in love with a human and left her son and lover in order to protect them.

Keith still thinks about their date, touches his fingers to his lips at the ghost of a kiss and wishes he had allowed himself to be more human. Let the need of one outweigh the need of the many. Let himself _feel._ But as down-trodden as he felt without Matt's messages, the two years went by relatively quickly.

 _A/N: Ya'll have imaginations, so you can imagine the date at the carnival. I have actually never been to one (maybe like once in middle school, but like, I can't remember shiet about it lmao soooo yeah)._


	8. Chapter 8

_07:15; Talk to you soon. ( *¯ ³¯*)_

That was the last message he had gotten from Keith.

You know, Matt had been _so proud_ that Keith was getting used to using emoticons. Their relationship had been fragile, but _promising._ So really, Matt didn't know what happened between that message and now, where he had absolutely _zero_ messages from Keith. Not even a smiley face to his earlier messages.

And he knows, okay? He _knows_ that with their occupations, it would be hard to reply right away, and even for a few days, but Keith's never _not_ texted back after a week. He would have found a way, he was sure, because _he_ found ways and Matt's pretty confident in his EQ skills and reading people to know that Keith felt the same way he does. Maybe less, maybe more, but definitely _in it._ Keith wasn't an undercover agent, so his missions come to an end pretty quickly. And the only alternatives Matt could provide after a couple weeks of no messages were alarming and distraughtful.

So, going into the third week when he visited the Castle of Lions and he chanced upon Kolivan, he just had to ask (although with tact),

"Hey Kolivan, have you heard anything from Keith?" Because, ya know, Kolivan is the one who gives him missions, so of _course_ Kolivan will know. Kolivan glanced to him, normally stoic jaw tensing just the slightest bit.

"Not yet." He says and to Matt it sounded like there was _hope_ in his voice. Like he knew there was a possibility Keith could die on any one of their missions (like Regris did), but he's trying hard not to show how much Keith has actually grown on him and that he's not worried.

"Is he on a mission?"

"Yes.." Kolivan says slowly, like he was deciding whether or not he should be surprised Matt knew about a mission. "He was sent to retrieve an undercover agent from Commander Ranveig's base, but we've yet to receive communication from either."

"Is that… typical? To not hear back after so long?" Kolivan seemed hesitant to answer. The set of his jaw and his more-than-normal rigid posture told Matt Kolivan lets on more than he knows. "Tell me." Matt meets his eye, keeping eye contact. "Tell me what you know." Again, hesitance.

"... We've had a few Blades check out the base," Kolivan starts slowly. "They didn't find them, but the entire place was wrecked. Commanders Trugg and Ladnok did a number fighting over it." Matt keeps staring, feeling Kolivan finally start to cave. Blade missions are typically top-secret or proprietary information or whatever.

"Over...?" Matt prompts.

"The super weapon Ranveig was working on. That wasn't found, either." Kolivan must be getting some clue about who Keith's been talking to lately as his face turns that little more grave.

"Is there any chance…?" Because, you know, there can _always_ be hope that Keith lived if a body wasn't found to authenticate the premise. Even Kolivan seemed hesitant to voice his next thoughts.

"They are slim.."

* * *

 _03.03.2xxx_

 _03:00; Did you kick some alien $$?!_ _ヾ_ _(▼_ _皿▼ﾒ_ _)┌θ (_ _ﾉ □_ _)_ _ﾉ ﾟ ﾟ_

 _11:13; Omg. I caught Olia chasing her tail. What if she's descended from the dog we went into space back in like 1957?_ _٩། ಠ_ _ᴥ_ _ಠ །_ _ᕗ_

 _03.04.2xxx_

 _17:58; Hey babe~ Miss yooouuu._ _ﾟ_ _*_ _｡_ _:(_ _人_ _´v_ _*)_ _ﾟ_ _:_ _｡_ _*_ _ﾟ_

 _23:23; I've got a mission, so I'll be a bit before I can text again (_ _ﾉ_ _´з_ _)_ _ノ_

 _03.07.2xxx_

 _22:40; SURPRISE BITCH, THOUGHT YOU'D SEEN THE LAST OF ME ( ◑ω◑)_

 _03.08.2xxx_

 _07:15; But seriously though, everything alright hon?_

 _03.10.2xx_

 _00:00; Babe?_

 _03.21.2xxx_

 _17:37; Keeeeeiiiiiiithhhhhhh?_

 _04.01.2xxx_

 _11:30; I know you don't joke like this, but if this is a joke imma be soo mad (_ _ಥ_ _﹏_ _ಥ_ _)_

 _04.05.2xxx_

 _09:04; Okay, now I'm really getting worried_

 _04.06.2xxx_

 _23:59; Text me back something? Please? (✿˵•́ ‸ •̀˵)_

 _04.07.2xxx_

 _15:47; Anything..?_

 _04.13.2xxx_

 _09:55; Keith….? (_ _๑⃙⃘_ _°̧̧̧_ _ㅿ_ _°̧̧̧_ _๑⃙⃘_ _)_

 _04.15.2xxx_

 _01:17: Keith…_

 _04.30.2xxx_

 _00:05; Please, Keith, be alright..._


	9. Chapter 9

The following months were some of the most stressful ones he's ever felt. And that's saying something, considering he was kidnapped by aliens and forced into fighting rings and work camps that rivaled the conditions of the holocaust.

He heard nothing from Keith, nothing from the Kolivan _about_ Keith, not a peep from the coalition about Keith, nothing from the Paladins about Keith.

Zilch. Nada. Nothing. Zero.

Absolutely nothing.

It was worse, then, that they hadn't found their bodies because a part of Matt wanted to believe he was alive, safe and alive, and he couldn't respond because his phone was damaged or lost and he couldn't get anything else. And it was worse when he thought of that because the yearning came like a freight train and he wants to search the ends of the universe for him and save him, help him, _see him._

Matt kept his communicator on him, glued to his hand like a second skin and torturing himself with the pictures they took and the conversations they've had.

 _I should have taken more pictures.._

Matt didn't know why it affected him so much.

That was a lie. He does. He knows. He knows why he feels this way; he knows why he can't sleep. He knows it would be better to move on _but he can't._ He can't because there's this open chasm of infinite possibilities and there is a chance Keith is alive, somewhere.

What's worse?

Losing Katie and the team.

Another open-ended question as to what happened. He wasn't there. He didn't know. He only had the stories and the rumors. No pictures, no documents, nothing. Nada. Zilch.

Just like Keith.

Everything had gone to hell. Matt should have realized Keith going dark was a sign; a premonition of something bad. He should have acted upon that spine-tingling sensation of dread the first week Keith didn't respond. He should have lead a search team, should have gone to the base himself. He could have found something the Blades have missed. They were only looking for bodies. Matt would have been searching for clues.

But it's too late for that. It's too late for anything. Matt watched everything they've worked toward the past half a year go up in smoke.

* * *

" _So, you didn't hear yet?"_

It hurt Matt to say that. His voice was scratchy from disuse and his own emotions. It had been nearly a year since his world fell to Armageddon. To have caught his father's broadcast sent dread pooling in his stomach, the worst kind yet. He'd already lost Keith, Pidge, most Blades and the coalition. His allies slaughtered like lambs and it forced him into hiding lest he be met with the same fate.

" _Mom, Dad, no one has seen or heard from the Paladins in the last six months."_ No on has seen Keith for far longer.

" _What happened?"_

" _No one is really sure… there are rumors that Voltron fought Lotor, then they just disappeared."_

" _So they could still be alive."_ Oh, his father, filled with such hope. The little part of his heart that still squirmed and begged him to do the same. The little part of him that refused to die.

" _No one knows. But, Dad,_ listen _to me. You need to stop broadcasting from Earth. Members of the Blade of Marmora and the Voltron Coalition are being hunted. Our army has been all but wiped out. The situation is bad out here, and the last thing we need is to put Earth in danger."_

" _But how will we get ahold of you?"_

" _I have to go. I'll contact you when I'm safe."_ Laughable. Nowhere is safe. " _I love you both."_

Matt stares at the screen of the communicator in his shuttle. He should be moving, leaving this place, so as to get a head start to anybody who heard him and got his location. But he wanted a second to soak in the bitterness of this feeling, even as he hears the bombs of missiles hitting their targets beyond his ship. Of letting his parents know he couldn't save his younger sister.

He couldn't save anyone.

* * *

When news of Voltron rescuing earth had made it to him, Matt couldn't believe it. After four long years, there was _finally_ news. It felt like an eternity before he reached his home solar system. It felt like decades had passed when he first got to see his parents. Colleen's warmth seeping into him nostalgic yet heart-rending. Four years on the run, another year and a half in space. He hadn't seen his mother in five and a half years.

All-in-all, Matt had to say he kept it together pretty good throughout the reunion with his parents and sister. After Shiro's broadcast and beautiful speech, he had run into him in the cafeteria of the hospital where the paladins were staying. Matt raising his eyebrows at him.

"Whoa, nice hair." Was the first thing he said because he didn't have a filter. Shiro was someone he respected the hell out of, but as Matt grew, the silly nervousness he'd had in his early twenties had dwindled into a normal camaraderie. "Are you sure you should be out and about?"

"Matt," Shiro smiles, looking up at his hair that he could see and gave a sheepish smile. "A lot of things happen. And it wasn't like I got hurt badly." He shrugs. "How's Pidge?"

"She's doing alright." It was Matt's turn to shrug. She was doing about as alright as anybody could be doing when they almost died. Like, three times in twenty-four hours. "She's happy she got to see Beezer." He chuckles. "And what do you mean, you didn't get hurt badly?" Matt scoffs playfully. "I heard the Lions took a beating pretty bad at the last battle. You guys were close to the explosion?"

Shiro blinks at him, looking as if trying to decipher what Matt was saying. But what else could Matt be saying? Shiro was the leader of Voltron, Shiro piloted the Black Lion.

"I—" Shiro starts, then takes another moment. "I wasn't piloting a Lion on impact." Now it was Matt's turn to furrow his brow in confusion.

"But I heard the Black Lion sustained the most damage, because it was the closest to the blast?"

" _Oh."_ Shiro took a breath, then shook his head. "Yeah. It did… But I wasn't the one piloting it, though." Matt furrows his brow more. Who the hell else would be piloting the Black Lion? "Keith was piloting Black—"

"Wait— what?" Matt's brain froze. That name, _Keith._ He hadn't so much as heard it since Voltron went missing.

"Uhm, Keith was piloting the Black Lion…"

" _Keith?"_ Matt's heart felt like it geared into overtime. "Keith's here?" Shiro just looked at him a bit oddly.

"Uh, yeah, he is—" Shiro's brows rose as Matt got close, taking hold of his shoulders with wide eyes.

"Where?" Matt asks— demands, really. He couldn't believe it. He just _couldn't._ Not without confirming it with his own eyes.

"T-top floor, east wing."

Matt booked it like the entirety of the Galra Empire fleet was on his tail, not waiting for Shiro to divulge any other information. He nearly crashed into N-7 on his run to the stairs. He didn't stop and talk about where he was going— why he was running because he _didn't care._

 _Keith was alive._

All those years worried sick— losing sleep, an endless cycle of regret and depression— all those years have finally come to a close because _Keith was alive._

Matt thundered up the stairwell, scaring the few patients who were loitering and nurses who were taking a break. By the time he reached the top floor, he was breathless and his muscles ached from running up seven floor's worth fleights of stairs. The door slammed open and he ran down the hall.

 _No,_ Matt thought as he passed by each room and read the tag just long enough for the first name. _No, no, no no—_ Matt skid to a halt.

 _Keith Kogane._

Matt couldn't stop himself, even with the momentary freeze of his mind, the trepidation and anxiety bubbled in one thought as he threw the door open. Matt sucks in a breath—

 _Keith._

Keith was pushing himself up on shaky arms, eyes closed as if in concentration as he pushed himself back to sit more comfortably against the mountain of pillows at his back. Matt hears him chuckle. "That was fast. You didn't have to ru—"

The moment that their eyes met was the moment all of the feelings he had repressed came flooding back and he felt himself drown in them all over again.

Keith was just as beautiful as he'd remembered. Was just as banged up as he always tends to see him— why must he always be hurt? His precious, wonderful, little ball of warmth and sunshine— Keith's head was bandaged, and Matt could see the bruise along the side of his face from the impact of the crash. He had a new scar, but Matt could tell this was him; that he was _real._

This wasn't a dream.

" _... Matt?"_ Keith practically gasps his name and Matt's heart couldn't take it— _he was real!_ Within seconds Matt was launching himself at Keith, as he saw Keith try and stand and he was in no shape to do any of it.

" _Oh my god, oh my god—"_ Matt babbles, crushing Keith to him. He should have been worried about his injuries. Should have been worried about hurting Keith further but he couldn't, not right now. Now what Keith was hugging him back just as fiercely, hands clenched in his shirt.

Keith was warm— _so warm—_ he was a solid weight against him, pushing away phantoms and nightmares with his glowing presence. He seemed bigger than he'd last held him but he still fit so nicely in the folds of his arms.

" _You're alive— you're alive!"_ Matt didn't want to let go.

Not now, not ever.


	10. Chapter 10

Keith had been preparing himself to see Matt after two years— a few months, at the most, by the normal times. He prepared himself to beg and grovel and plead for Matt's forgiveness. Tell him how much he'd missed him and not let him out of his embrace until he was sore from hugging him.

What Keith had not been prepared for was the three year jump post-fighting Lotor. Not to mention the additional months of trying to get back to their end of the universe and all the fuckery that came with that (e.i.: being on that stupid episode of _Garfle Warfle Snick,_ where he'd said he'd want Lance to leave because he didn't want to spend eternity with him. Which was true. In its own right. Matt and Lance were pretty similar. They were both goofy, both young, both lovable jokesters… Incidentally, both taller than him by at least an inch. To be spending an eternity with Lance would remind Keith of Matt at every chance and he didn't think he could stand that. He'd go insane).

It was good that the time spent on earth was filled with plans and missions, because he didn't have time to think about Matt and him being gone for four years and how he would even start that conversation if they ever cross paths again— not to mention, if he was even alive. If he was okay, or even if Matt would be in a forgiving mood from him dropping off the face of the earth for four years.

When Keith had woken up that morning, surrounded by his mother and Kolivan, he felt a little less abysmal than he had the week prior. However, it was still missing that little bit of _je ne sais quoi_ and he was sure he knew the reason for it.

"I'll get you some ice chips." Krolia says as she stands from the edge of his bed. Kosmo whines and hops off as well, stretching out before following her. Keith sighs, laying back down while he waits. He would rather eat something, other than these ice chips, but the doctor's said he should take it easy. With his concussion, eating these ice chips for now would be the best lest he throw up. That didn't stop him from being hungry, though.

Keith hears footsteps thundering down the hall after a few minutes and he chuckles at the urgency he hears. He takes a breath and attempts to push himself up to sitting position as he hears the door open. He chuckles again as he pushes back to sit up back against the pillows.

"That was fast. You didn't have to ru—"

Keith's breath left him.

He was older, four years had passed, after all. His hair longer, tied in a loose pony tail. He looked like he'd been to hell and back.

" _... Matt?"_ Keith gasps his name, for a second sure his was just a hallucination from the drugs. But then Matt was near him and hugging him and it felt too real to be a dream. Keith clings to him, uncaring of the pain that spiked through such a hard embrace because it meant this was _real._

" _You're alive— you're alive!"_ Matt babbles, and Keith can't help but share the sentiment, his hands grabbing fistfuls of Matt's shirt like he'd somehow fade through his fingers if he didn't hold on. " _I'm so happy you're alive.."_ Matt nuzzles into his shoulder, a cute little quirk he did and Keith blinks back his tears.

"Me too.." He whispers, voice cracking just a bit.

* * *

Krolia leaned against the wall outside the room. She had been a bit worried when she saw a young man run down the hall at an alarming speed when she left to go get ice chips. She had only been gone a few minutes when she found the door left ajar and decided against entering upon hearing tear-filled laughter. For a moment she wonders who in this universe could make her son reveal such emotions but she was nothing if not perceptive.

 _Must be Matt,_ she pops an ice chip into her mouth, crunching the ice between her sharp teeth. Keith hadn't been as animated as he could be unless he was talking about Matt. She's glad Keith's worrying had been for nothing. Much like herself, Keith tended to keep such worries to himself but it came out in his posture, the tone of his voice.

"Krolia? What are you doing in the hallway?" Kolivan asks as he comes up to her, Kosmo by his side. Krolia places a finger at her lip to quiet him, watching Kosmo disappear from his side. He looks at her oddly, raising a brow until he heard a surprised yelp from inside the room.

"It's Matt." She says, taking another ice chip to crunch on.

"How do you know?" He asks, seeing the door firmly closed.

" _Kosmo!"_ Keith's voice rang out, a bit alarmed before two sets off laughter could be heard muffled through the door. Krolia smiles as she stares into her cup of ice.

"Some things a mother just knows." She says, sounding mysterious but Kolivan only rolled his eyes— or seemed to. He was perceptive enough to have known something was going on between then, considering how adamant Matt was about seeking Keith's attention, especially when he'd disappeared from the mission.

"Letting them have their moment?" Kolivan comes to stand by her, leaning back against the wall and stealing a chip from her cup.

"It's been four years for both of them." If she could see her lover now— alive after so long, she'd need more than just a few minutes before someone broke their precious reunion in the most anticlimactic way. She takes another chip— tasteless but cold and soothing. Humans knew what was up, she thought idly. "Let's take our time getting some more ice chips." She suggests as Kolivan stole another chip.

A leisurely walk around the hospital sounded like a good idea right about now.


	11. Chapter 11

They had been so immersed with each other they had barely noticed the time slipping away until Krolia came by with a tray of food enough for the both of them. Keith didn't even notice how the entrance was planned so they would be between topics, which was currently on Pidge and her love for Beezer. They hadn't reached the sensitive topic of their missing four years yet, still too fresh to talk about right off the bat at their reunion.

Matt looks to the new person in the room and tilts his head, his smile still on his face except now it had a thin veil of confusion.

"Oh.. This is Krolia." Keith says, almost like an after thought. "My mom." Matt glancing between the two as Krolia set down the tray and gave him a smile holding out her hand.

"Nice to meet you, Matt." Matt stood, shaking her hand, only mildly curious about how she knew his name when they weren't introduced. "Thank you for taking care of my son." Now that made him blush, cheeks going a little pink. It wasn't everyday you meet the boyfriend's parents and they give such a greeting. It seemed so.. so.. _formal._ Like it made everything real. Well, real-er.

"Oh. Pleasure to meet you, too, Krolia." He says, narrowly avoiding calling her _Mrs. Keith._ Now that he gets a good look at her, he sees a lot of her in Keith. He takes a lot after her, huh? The shape of his eyes, the cut of his jaw. Almost everything except the height. "I'm Matt." He paused. "But uh— you knew that already." He says, a bit nervous. Krolia's lips quirk in an amused fashion, a lot like Keith's do. Galra genes run strong in this one.

"Yes. Keith talked a lot about you." Oh did he now? That makes him feel kinda shy. "All good things, I assure you."

" _Moooom,"_ Keith whispered, sounding thoroughly embarrassed even though Krolia was rocking the parent vibe. She got the "embarrass son in front of crush" thing down flat.

"I thought you guys might be hungry, since it's so late. I brought food." She gestures to the obvious and it was only then that Matt noticed how late it had gotten, the sun setting beyond the window of the hospital room. He was amazed that he'd spent since afternoon talking about nothing in particular. But then again, he wasn't. He felt like he and Keith could talk for ages. "I've cleared it with your doctor, so it's fine." Krolia comes to Keith, giving a kiss to his head despite the blush on his cheeks. "I'll be out with Kolivan."

"Doing what?" Keith asks as she steps back.

"Making preparations." She says simply and it could have been that simple, except that it felt like she was purposefully giving them space and time and providing an opportunity to be together, alone. "It was nice meeting you, Matt," she gives another handshake before leaving the two alone.

Matt looks back at Keith, who was thinking just the same thing. Except now that she's left it was kind of awkward… which was odd, because weren't they just having a nice, simple conversation and now it was like, okay, how to get back into this?

Luckily, much to Keith's further embarrassment, his stomach broke the silence between them when it growled loudly. After a second, they burst back into laughter and Matt settles back on the cot, pulling the tray between them.

"Let's get you fed," Matt says, wiping a tear from his eye.

"I forgot how hungry I was." Keith says, eyeballing the fries and burgers and water.

"Good thing your mom came when she did." Keith hums, taking a fry to munch on and he had to hold himself back from practically inhailing his food, hungry as he was.

"Actually. She was supposed to bring me ice chips." He paused, brows furrowing. "Ages ago." It was only now that he noticed she never brought them. Matt starts to eat his own.

"I think I might've run past her on my way to see you." He briefly remember passing by _someone_ on his run to Keith's room. "How'd you meet her?"

Keith paused in his next bite. "It's kind of a long story.." And Matt felt the implications of it. The weight it held. The same weight they were avoiding as they talked about nonsensical things. Maybe Krolia knew it. Maybe she was the icebreaker. Mother's intuition is pretty strong after all.

Matt gave an encouraging smile. "I think we have some time."

It seemed like they both dealt with their own insecurities about the other and their next meeting, should one ever appear. Four years was a long time to be missing from each other's lives with no form of communication or contact.

So they talked.

Keith explained how he was sent on a mission the morning after their date. That mission included contacting a Marmora agent that was deep undercover and it just so happened that, that agent turned out to be his mother. How he and Krolia ended up in the quantum abyss and two years passed before they came out the other side. Despite the heaviness of the conversation, both felt a bit lighter at being given this opportunity to speak openly and without reserve.

"So," Matt broke through their serious tone, taking a munch of another ketchup-covered fry. "You told your mom about me." He grins teasingly, watching as Keith's cheeks heat up with a blush.

"Yeah, I did." It seemed he was more embarrassed than he ought to be. It was very cute. "I showed her the pictures."

"Pictures?" Matt furrows his brows. He takes a lot of pictures. But his pictures with _Keith_ were limited. None that were raunchy and NC17+, but nevertheless Matt was flirtatious. " _Our_ pictures?" Keith nods, the blush on his cheeks settling at that perfect rosy shade. "What'd she say?"

"She said you were very cute."

"Of course she did. I'm pancake-flipping adorable."

* * *

The rest of the night went by similarly. Both filing in the gaps of their four years estranged, sitting facing each other and cross-legged on the cot late into the night. Matt had shed most of his extra accessories to get himself comfortable. Keith showed him the messages he sent, Matt showed him the messages that weren't recieved and both silently lamented the torture they were put through uncessesarily.

But such was life.

Matt left in the late night after Krolia had come in a second time to let them know how late it had actually gotten. She didn't kick him out in so many words, but did hint that Keith was still an injured party and they _both_ needed rest for the upcoming missions and that they had all day they could spend together tomorrow before the IGF Atlas launched then back into space. Matt would get an earful from his mother about disappearing for hours without answering his phone (which was conveniently and accidentally left in Pidge's room) and Keith had to bear the knowing grin of his mother as she tucked him into bed.

Why couldn't things ever be _simple?_

How they'd like it if they could just be regular teens on Earth, skipping class to make out in the nooks and crannies of the school that no one went past, or sneaking out of the dorms late at night to go hoverracing. Wouldn't it be nice to be reprimanded by a teacher for being caught texting each other in class?

Wouldn't it be nice if they stopped all this fighting? Wouldn't it be nice to stop worrying about whether the other is alive or not?

How grand it would be.

* * *

They got new phones.

They were the standard holophone they had before, the orange-ish screen with the metal opposite corners. But nevertheless it felt like such a _couple_ thing to do, especially since they were matching. It brought a staple of happiness that felt missing for the past four years Keith had been yearning to get back.

Honestly, only Keith needed a new phone since the quantum abyss distorted his holophone's signal into oblivion, but Matt decided they should both get new ones. Matt had expertly loaded up their pictures and they spent an hour just texting each other, _right next to each other._ It was mostly memes and jokes and littered with emoticons, much like how Matt always texts and it brought a feeling of sobriety. A sense of belonging.

They had to part during lunch, pulled along by their parents and their own matters to attend to. But during those times apart, the restlessness they had felt before had dissipated, as long as they had their holophone on their person, sending the other an occasional text.

The more time that went by, the less melancholy they feel at the time they weren't together. Earth's defenses needed to be bolstered across the globe _just in case_ and the IGF Atlas needed to undergo tremendous repairs before they continue to liberate planets. They were just happy they got to spend more time together than just fitting it into pockets when they just so happened to intersect at the castle-ship.

So when it came time to leave, Keith didn't feel all that bothered by it. It felt like a chapter of his life came to a close, but that closing came with the closure he's been needing. As he stares at the setting sun, he feels everything has finally come full circle.

"Man, you can be a real hard guy to find when you wanna be." Lance's voice reaches his ears and he barely spares him a glance.

"Hey Lance—" that is, until he _had_ to double-take. "Whoa! _What_ are you wearing?" If it didn't look so ridiculous and out of place, it would have even been funny.

"Coran made it for me for my date with Allura." Lance replied with a sigh and Keith was surprised that he felt nothing at that. He had thought his feelings might have still lingered from previous years, but he supposed having that two year gap between them with only Matt on his mind, would've ended those feelings.

"A date with _Allura?"_ Keith couldn't help but grin as Lance sat down beside him. Lance had always shown his interest in her since the beginning, but it was only recently that he's become more… mature, about it. "Wow. Well done, Lance."

"Thanks. But it could be our last. I can't keep all these Altean customs straight."

"Listen, if she's going out with you, it's because she likes you." And Keith had to wonder when they had become so close for Lance to trust him with this type of conversation. Was it because he came back and became the leader they needed him to be? Or because Lance had finally dropped their pseudo-rivalry? "The annoying stupid, _Earth_ version of you." And yeah, okay, that might've been a bit too much but Keith was never really good with words.

"You watching the sun set?"

"Yeah. Might be a while before we get to see it again."

"Man, I'm really gonna miss this place."

"That's why we've gotta end this war. And we're gonna do it with the Lance that's the Paladin of the Red Lion. The Lance that's always got my back. And the Lance who knows exactly who he is and what he's got to offer."

They've come so far and have grown so much so Keith could say that with absolute certainty. Without hesitation and without lingering feelings.

* * *

"Hey, Keith."

Keith looks up yet again, Matt climbing over the top of the Black Lion's hunkering head as comically as he could. When finally at the top, he rolls himself bodily toward Keith, swinging an arm around his waist and Keith easily gave him space to do just that.

"I just saw Lance wearing a bunch of pots. Is he cosplaying Tupperware?" Keith chuckles but the question was kind of lost on him.

"Coran tried to dress him up for a date with Allura, but we don't have Altean clothing."

"A date with _Allura?"_ Matt's tone was almost nearly the same as his was. "Good on him, dating royalty." Matt sits up, scooting so his hip would be in line with Keith's, reaching over to pet Kosmo. "Hey Kosmo." Matt practically plasters himself to Keith's side and Keith lets him, enjoying the closeness.

They sit in silence for a few moments, eyes on the last rays of sunlight that painted the sky with such vibrant colors they've never seen anywhere else.

"I've missed Earth sunsets." Matt says finally, once the last rays disappeared beyond the horizon and the stars peek out from the dark. "Couldn't find them anywhere else." Matt's head is on his shoulder, in his space and it felt comfortable that way. Keith leans into him infinitesimally.

"Yeah," Keith agrees, Matt's fingers expertly finding his and lacing their fingers together, his thumb swiping against the back of his hand with such intimacy Keith had never thought he'd get the chance to experience and now he never wants to let it go. It was like he was pulled by strings, each and small thread pulling him to be closer to Matt. So when he turns his head, Matt was doing the same until they were just a hair's breadth away.

The air was warm; Matt was warm. His cheeks flushed with blush, a tingling in his fingertips and on his lips as they kissed, zinging through his whole body. The bitter longing he felt at the beginning of his journey couldn't hold a candle to the way he was feeling at this moment. He was covered in warmth from head-to-toe and it was his. _All his._


	12. Chapter 12

Nadia had been so excited to make an epic movie, filled with sound effects and fighting and guns and lasers and everything that an action-packed movie _should_ have. If it weren't for Ryan and his creative constipation, it could've turned out pretty bomb. Not to mention the fact he wouldn't let her record Lance and Allura. Like, _c'mon,_ that was the love angle in their home-made movie!

" _It's personal, you can't just record that."_ Ryan had told her firmly, his cheeks were slightly flushed and it was kinda funny because Nadia had never seen him blush. But now that they were walking the halls in search of someone else to interview that wouldn't bore the hell out of them when they rewatched this.

Sure, it was a good idea _at the time_ to record the Paladins, but in all honesty, none of them have the creative genius Nadia was looking for. Pidge is pretty dry and has zero inclination for suspense. Keith is so damn straight forward and awkward on camera. Hunk, while an amazing chef, completely distracted Ryan from their original objective and thus is not a good candidate. And of course Ryan stopped her from interviewing (read: eavesdropping on) Lance and Allura. The only person who could _possibly_ fill the gap in talent was Coran and she wasn't about to go near _that_ again with a ten-foot pole.

Loved his enthusiasm, though.

Honestly, why the hell is everyone so damn _boring_ on this ship?

Nadia paused around the corner when she heard a voice travel through the hall, "you really don't care?" It sounded shy and _sooooo_ familiar that she froze when she recognized it as Keith.

"Nope." Matt says, then coming into view and she peeked around the corner. "Do you?" Matt turns, taking a step back and pulling Keith by their linked hands, taking Keith's other hand and turning them full circle before pulling Keith into him, dropping his hands. Matt's hands automatically sling around his neck, Keith's arms wrapped around Matt as Keith leaned into him.

Keith leans his forehead on Matt's, who was only about one-to-two inches taller. His cheeks blush and his eyes close as he learns in closer with a hum, "... No."

Ryan grabbed her shoulders and she glances back at him, eyes wide as he stares at the video in shock. They share a glance and in that split second Nadia knows Ryan wouldn't stop her from filming because _holy Jesus fuck,_ who the fuck knew Keith and Matt were _together?_ Who the fuck knew Keith could even feel such emotions?

Matt chuckles and they watch as he nuzzled noses with Keith. Nadia holds her breath. Matt's head moves to whisper something into Keith's ear that makes Keith flush red through the tips of his ears that peak through his hair. Keith burrowed his burning face into the crook of Matt's neck, hugging him tighter. Matt's hands thread through Keith's thick hair and they strain their ears to hear Keith mumble into Matt's neck, "you dork."

Nadia's bafflement lasts for a long while, especially when they pull apart just the barest amounts and Keith tilts his head up—

The camera keeps filming, capturing the heart-stopping moment of their love and she stood frozen in the face of a new love angle that could be added to their movie but conflicted with her morals. Yeah, sure, she was about to film _Lance_ and _Allura_ in an intimate moment, but Keith and Matt were an item— an item that no one knew about and if they did, it was sure as hell kept on such a down-low, need-to-know basis that they didn't know and now she stood face-to-face with it and she can't let others see.

Oh, come on, she's eccentric, but she's not a total bitch.

Matt and Keith kiss a few more times, each one putting more force into the kiss and after a few more, they break apart in laughter.

"I don't care either." Keith says, looking so soft and completely unlike what he looked like when they were doing the interview. He looked relaxed and confident and comfortable in his skin. Matt's grin was infectious and he gives Keith another bear hug before pulling him along further down the hall and away from the camera's angle.

Nadia stays in her weird crouch at the corner a few more moments before she felt the need to straighten up her posture, looking at Ryan who's cheeks were reddened with blush and wow, such a prude, she thinks teasingly to herself. But she knew that this was the end of the line of their filming for the day. Nothing else could _possibly_ top the light-hearted moment they caught for their eyes only.


End file.
